Peter Dutton

The Opposition’s leading proponent of numerology, Sussan Ley, is speculated to this week be considering mounting a challenge to leader Peter Dutton, following the weekends dire polling results for the Coalition. ”We thought with the media going to town and... Read More ›

Opposition leader (as of publishing), Peter Dutton, has released his terrifying vision for the country, should he take the throne from current Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. With the alternative Government planning to put a nuclear reactor in every backyard, have... Read More ›

“Mr Speaker in response to the Government’s budget I’d like to say, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow Treasurer (yep, he’s the best they could manage), Angus Taylor, has moved to assure the Nation that he’ll make a great Treasurer, as he has all his fingers and toes to count with. ”Australian’s need to rest... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Peter ”Disappearing” Dutton, has sent out an angry missive to journalists reminding them that he does not work weekends. ”Yeah the bloody journo’s need to learn that Pete doesn’t do weekends, or questions,” said a Liberal Party... Read More ›

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has spent the day seething after learning that Cumberland city council had stolen his idea to start banning LGBTQIA+ based books in the local library. ”Peter is not a happy man at the... Read More ›

Former Prime Minister (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been spotted setting up a card table outside his favourite date night venue, Engadine Maccas, in an effort to sell more copies of his recently released book. ”They say the early bird... Read More ›

Opposition leader and self-described friend of the worker, Peter Dutton, has declared that any Government that he leads will allow the Nation’s Tradies to be able to bully Uni students out of their lunch money. ”What sort of World do... Read More ›

Opposition leader and enthusiastic Voldemort cos-player, Peter Dutton, has sent his apologies to the organisers of last weekends women’s marches, telling them that he was busy washing his hair. ”I know it may appear that I do not have any... Read More ›

The Opposition leader (as of writing), Peter Dutton, has demanded a national apology from all Australian rape victims to his Senators. ”I understand that rape can be traumatic, Jen Morrison was good enough to drop by the party room and... Read More ›