breaking news

Local Man’s Passport Photo Constant Reminder Of Decade Of Self-Abuse

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 24/02/2018 - 11:31pm in

WATERFORD native Sean Herrity is considering  staying at home this summer instead of going on holidays, in a bid to avoid looking at his youthful passport photo, a painful reminder of what 9 straight years of being a mad bastard can do to someone. Herrity, 27, has had the same passport photo since 2011 and... Read more »

Are Things Going That Bad In Life That You Have To Settle For Niall?

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 24/02/2018 - 11:24pm in

REALLY? Niall? As in Niall Niall. But you said you didn’t even like him? Honestly, we’re confused. No, look this is on us, we had no idea your life had gone off the tracks so spectacularly. We should have seen the signs, and like, asked if you wanted to meet for coffee or something. Why... Read more »

300 Million American Gun Owners Stood By And Did Nothing To Stop Florida Shooting, Finds Report

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 24/02/2018 - 11:06pm in

A RECENTLY published report into the latest school shooting in Florida has found as many as 300,000,000 registered gun owners in America did absolutely nothing to stop a former student fatally shooting 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, WWN can confirm. A week after one of the deadliest mass shootings in modern... Read more »

“Psst! Looking For Any Bad Mortgages?” We Investigate The Bankers Selling Bad Debt On The Street

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 24/02/2018 - 12:22am in

DUBLIN’S docklands can be a cold, unforgiving place to be during the harsh Winter months, with the icy East wind blowing its Siberian breeze up the Liffey, but for many city bankers it’s home to one of the biggest underground bad debt markets in Europe, churning over billions every day. “Psst, hey you, yeah you! Do you wanna buy... Read more »

Local Woman Hasn’t The Energy To Deal With Your Bullshit Today

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 11:56pm in

A LOCAL Dublin based woman has brought it to the attention of anyone with a frivolous query or request, along with those seeking to start inane conversations that she is not in a position to accommodate them today, as she hasn’t the energy for your bullshit. Closing in on the end of yet another taxing... Read more »

Neighbour’s House Alarm Enters 3rd Hour Of Being Ignored

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 11:45pm in

THE piercing shriek of the house alarm that has been blaring across a Waterford suburb all morning has now blended into the ambience, with residents who have been tolerating the shrill sound for over three hours now admitting that they find it ‘soothing’. Although the source of the alarm has yet to be tracked down,... Read more »

Designer Reveals Jennifer Lawrence’s Dress Made Of 49.5% Feminism, 49.5% Patriarchy

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 10:31pm in

THE CONTENTIOUS debate surrounding Jennifer Lawrence and her appearance in a black Versace dress at a photocall for her film Red Sparrow has come to an unequivocal end following the decision of the dress’s designer to speak out. Initially drawing ire from people who saw Lawrence’s male costars dressed in a far more casual manner... Read more »

Fucking Banklink Only Gives Fifties

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 9:31pm in

WATERFORD residents down to the last 30 euro in their accounts before payday have been warned that the banklink on Meagher’s Quay only has 50 euro notes, and is liable to catch you out when you badly need to withdraw a twenty. Locals were first made aware of the ‘withdrawals in multiples of 50 euro only’... Read more »

Stunning Musical Based On The ‘SpongeBob’ Meme Opens On Broadway

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 9:17pm in

WITH lyrics and music by Hamilton writer Lin-Manuel Miranda, the ever popular ‘Mocking SpongeBob’ meme and its accompanying musical is a delight and triumph from its opening notes. The Laura Pels Theatre was packed and purred with anticipation as Miranda brought the meme, used to rebuff stupid opinions by pairing an image of SpongeBob Square... Read more »

Ireland Clinch Gold In ‘Downhill On Empty Fertilizer Bag’ Event At The Winter Olympics

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 7:48am in

COYBIG! The Republic Of Ireland continue to bring home the Olympic gold in yet another stunning performance in PyeongChang, seizing first place on the podium for the ‘going down a hill on an old fertilizer sack with a bit of straw stuffed into it’ event. Monaghan native Art McArthur captained the ten-man freestyle sledding team to... Read more »