Business

Self-employed builder makes bid for Carillion contracts

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 15/01/2018 - 10:13pm in

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A SELF-EMPLOYED builder who owns his own lorry has bid for Carillion’s prison, hospital, school and Ministry of Defence contracts.

 

Stressed workaholic finds plenty of time to tell you about it

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/01/2018 - 10:52pm in

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A MAN who is constantly 'up to his eyes' in work always has an hour free to complain about just hard he is working, it has emerged.

6 Things Your Toddler Is Doing Now That You’ve Taken Your Eyes Off Them

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 11/01/2018 - 10:09pm in

WWN knows how tough it can be keep an eye on the hyperactive, inquisitive and mischief making toddler/toddlers you have at home. And while we’re not ones to judge here at WWN Parenting, we’ve noticed you’ve taken your eyes off the little tyke there for what can only have been 7 seconds at most, but... Read more »

Man Proud Of Himself For Seeing Coworker As Person First, Sex Object Second

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 10/01/2018 - 11:40pm in

A LOCAL Dublin man is beaming with pride after realising he asked a female coworker questions pertinent to the business they both work in before letting his mind drift to thoughts of just what he would do with her given half the chance. Neil O’Dowding (27) was so preoccupied with an upcoming presentation to clients... Read more »

“I’m Fixing It” Zuckerberg Calmly Douses Facebook HQ In Petrol

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 06/01/2018 - 12:09am in

STAFF at Facebook’s headquarters in California have been advised by senior members not ask anymore questions as the company’s owner casually douses the 430,000 square foot campus in petroleum. In a post on his page on the social network yesterday, CEO Mark Zuckerberg vowed to “fix” Facebook, in what he described as his personal challenge for... Read more »

Only 90 per cent of Airbnb rooms have hidden cameras

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 03/01/2018 - 9:06pm in

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AIRBNB users have been reassured by reports that only nine out of 10 AirBnB rooms have secret cameras recording their every move.

Government sets up single massive company to shaft everyone in Britain

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 03/01/2018 - 7:44pm in

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A VAST new company will ensure every last penny of your money is turned into profit for the private sector, the government has announced.

Flinders Street Station To Be Replaced By Starbucks Flagship Store

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 21/12/2017 - 10:11am in

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flinders street starbucks

Melbourne’s Flinders Street Station will be demolished to make way for an exciting new Starbucks concept store, the Andrews Government announced today.

Premier Andrews said the store would be the coffee chain’s ‘global flagship’ and would be a unique public space for people to meet, create, collaborate and buy American coffee.

“It’s a wonderful opportunity to bolster the creative offerings of Melbourne as well as Starbucks’s bottom line,” he said.

Victorian Tourism Minister John Eren said the store would attract billions of tourists and create 19 new jobs. “It will breathe new life into Melbourne’s CBD,” he said.

Mr Andrews conceded that losing the city’s major train station would be an inconvenience for some, but said it was important for global cities to evolve. “Getting home by train after a day at work is lovely, but have you tried a Starbucks iced mocha choc latte?”

He said despite initial reservations from some people, Melburnians would grow to love their new landmark. “Every city has train stations. But no other city in the world has an American chain coffee shop. It’ll become a drawcard for sure”.

Please explain the concept of a ‘taxi’ to us again, says Uber

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 20/12/2017 - 10:11pm in

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AN Uber executive has asked the European court if it can explain what a ‘taxi’ is again but slower because he still does not get it. 

New Eir Owner Put On Hold For 40 Minutes

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 20/12/2017 - 9:52pm in

Despite his protestations, which included pointing out he had just paid €1 billion for a majority stake in the telecommunications company, French billionaire Xavier Niel was immediately put on hold for 40 minutes, WWN understands. Guiding himself through a number of options on an automated phone system, which encouraged him to press a number based... Read more »

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