ireland

Revealed: Taylor Swift’s Demands Ahead Of Croke Park Gig

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 25/11/2017 - 12:20am in

TO the deafening screams of hundreds of thousands of ecstatic fans, pop empress Taylor Swift announced today that she would be bringing her ‘Reputation’ tour to Croke Park next summer, subject to a number of demands. If fans wish to see the 10-time Grammy award winning singer perform, the following rules and riders must be strictly adhered... Read more »

Homeless Lads Agree To Do 12 Kerbs Of Christmas

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 11:32pm in

A PLUCKY group of rough-sleepers are getting ready for this year’s 12 Kerbs Of Christmas, their now-traditional attempt to sleep on twelve different doorsteps, kerbs, alleys and benches around Dublin city centre between the 1st of December and Christmas Day itself. “This’ll be the fourth year we’ve tried it” smiled Ciaran, the 36-year-old Dublin native... Read more »

Woman’s Weekly Skype Home To Family Enters 4th Hour Of ‘So, Any Other News?’

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 11:31pm in

DESPITE clearly stating on several occasions to her mother that she had no other news to impart regarding her life in Vancouver, Waterford woman Claire Lanney was facing into her 4th hour of excruciatingly sparse conversation on Skype. “No, Mam, no other news really, I’ve told you everything,” Claire explained to her mother, Angela, as... Read more »

Nation Urges FG & FF To Quit This Ross And Rachel Bullshit

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 10:53pm in

HAVING endured nearly a century of ‘will-they, won’t-they’, the Irish public have come forward and pleaded with Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil to end this “Mulder & Scully, Sam & Diane, Ross & Rachel” shite and just get together, for once and for all. The urgent plea comes amid murmurings of another General Election, possibly before... Read more »

Bit Early For Talk Of Putting Up Trees, Father Tells Family

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 10:15pm in

A WATERFORD father has acted swiftly to end talk of purchasing a Christmas tree this weekend, WWN has learned. Dermot Conatty, 39, entered his kitchen last night to discovered his wife and three children debating the size, shape and personality of the tree they would be getting this year. However, Conatty who bestowed the casting... Read more »

Family Going To Take Mother Up On Her ‘Don’t Get Me Anything For Christmas’ Bullshit This Year

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 3:45am in

FOLLOWING years of festive exasperation, one Waterford family is to call their mother’s bluff and get her nothing for Christmas, as per her request every year since records began. Maureen O’Lennon, matriarch of the Lennon family, has replied with ‘ach, don’t be getting me anything’ or ‘don’t go to any trouble, I’m grand’ every single... Read more »

Local Idiot 100% Certain Everyone Making Up Sexual Harassment Claims

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 3:39am in

RESPONDING, unprompted, to the thousands of men and women who continue to emerge to bravely share their experiences of sexual harassment and assault, one pioneering local man has used several of his brain cells to confirm his feeling that they’re making it all up. Citing no facts when citing fact checked and verified incidents, and... Read more »

Tánaiste Outlines Timeline Of When She Began Fearing For Her Job

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 24/11/2017 - 12:17am in

SPEAKING IN the Dáil in order to respond to questions around her knowledge and possible part in former Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan’s decision to instruct a legal team to question whistleblower Sergeant Maurice McCabe’s motives for wanting gardaí corruption to be stamped out, the Tánaiste Frances Fitzgerald provided an exhaustive timeline of what she knew and... Read more »

5 Ways To Ensure You Get Your Security Deposit Back

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 23/11/2017 - 11:55pm in

RENTING? You’re probably wondering if you’ll ever see that security deposit, usually one month’s rent, ever again. For many of you, this is your only ‘savings’, and you’ll certainly need it to use as a security deposit again should you move. So how can you be sure that your landlord will return it when you... Read more »

Stick Black Friday Up Your Hole, Retailers Told

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 23/11/2017 - 9:24pm in

IRISH RETAILERS have politely been told by the bargain hunting portion of the population to stick Black Friday, an American retail sales event, up their holes, WWN can confirm. Despite outrageously good offers to be had in stores, such as that kettle that was €60 now reduced to €59.99, the Irish public has confirmed once... Read more »

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