Ireland Clinch Gold In ‘Downhill On Empty Fertilizer Bag’ Event At The Winter Olympics

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 7:48am in

COYBIG! The Republic Of Ireland continue to bring home the Olympic gold in yet another stunning performance in PyeongChang, seizing first place on the podium for the ‘going down a hill on an old fertilizer sack with a bit of straw stuffed into it’ event. Monaghan native Art McArthur captained the ten-man freestyle sledding team to... Read more »

Aid Arrives In Britain As Fried Chicken Shortage Crisis Worsens

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 23/02/2018 - 2:58am in

THE British government has urged citizens to remain calm following a nationwide shortage of KFC fried chicken this week, which has forced half of the fast food chains to close temporarily in England and Wales. Several UN aid ships carrying basic supplies docked at various locations across the UK in a bid to curb the... Read more »

Have You Considered The Glory Of Our Lord & Saviour James Kavanagh?

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 22/02/2018 - 10:34pm in

ARE you a lost lamb, wandering through the valley of the shadow of social media, not knowing which way to turn for digital salvation? Do you find yourself lying awake at night, scrolling through your Snapchats, un-entertained and disinclined to continue? Then might we suggest the wonderful glory and enlightenment that comes from following our... Read more »

Report Reveals Children Living In Poverty Will Probably Be In Next Year’s Report Too

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 22/02/2018 - 2:32am in

A REPORT which highlights the plight of a startling number of children trapped in poverty in Ireland every day, and the lack of government led solutions has made an immediate impact on the general public with many confessing that they will be just as angry this time next year when the next annual report confirms... Read more »

“I Always Dreamed Of More For My Clothing Line”- Emotional Ben Sherman Speaks Out

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 22/02/2018 - 1:07am in

ONCE-legendary fashion designer Benjamin Sherman has broken his silence about what he considers to be ‘the tragic failure of his entire career’ in an emotional exclusive interview with WWN, in which he speaks sadly about seeing the clothes he worked so hard on ending up on culchie revellers all around Ireland, covered in garlic cheese... Read more »

6 Things You Can Do While Stuck On The M50

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 22/02/2018 - 12:29am in

STUCK in a 4 mile tailback on the M50 after someone accidentally turned on their indicator sparking a butterfly effect on the several hundred cars in the driver’s wake? Although it is usually a cause for concern, WWN is here to suggest another, alternative outlook on the following 3 hours you are sure to spend... Read more »

We Take A Trip On ‘Air Force A Haon’

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 21/02/2018 - 3:57am in

WHEN Michael D. Higgins travels, he travels in style. Flanked by two of the Irish Air Force’s most elite Spitfire pilots, Air Force A Haon carries our country’s premier to crucial engagements all around the world, and WWN have become the first newspaper to have an exclusive trip on the luxury aircraft. Joining Michael D.... Read more »

What Red Herring Will You Be Using In Your Referendum Arguments?

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 20/02/2018 - 10:57pm in

HAVE you no intention of conducting yourself and your discourse in relation to the upcoming abortion referendum in a truthful and honest manner? Well, then you may have been considering putting forward ‘arguments’ and ‘facts’ which are neither factual nor directly related to the actual vote on repealing the 8th amendment. And what better way... Read more »

Was Maniac 2000 A Secret IRA Anthem All This Time? Yes, It Was

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 20/02/2018 - 10:31pm in

FOLLOWING a lengthy discussion with some people we met in the pub on Saturday night, WWN can exclusively confirm that the all-time classic floor filler Maniac 2000 is in actual fact a coded message from the IRA, in a bid to convince young people to sign up and fight for a unified 32-county Ireland free from... Read more »

Dave Still Rocking The Man Bun 4 Years Later

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 19/02/2018 - 8:56pm in

DESPITE being told he looked like a ‘complete and utter sap’ more times than he cares to remember, Waterford man Dave Hinnings is still rocking a man bun, a full four years after it never in style or cool to begin with. Impervious to pleas from people who claim the sight of his man bun... Read more »