Trump Threatens Mars With Tariffs To Protect America’s Bottled Water Industry

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 27/07/2018 - 8:26am in

Following news that Scientists have discovered water on the planet Mars American President Donald Trump has launched a verbal assault on the planet and threatened to put tariffs on it’s water.

“My role as President is to get the best deal for the people of America,” said the President. “So Mars you just can’t waltz on in and try and take away jobs from hard working American bottled water makers with your fancy space water.”

“We let you sell your Mars bars so don’t push us with your water. Otherwise I’ll hit you where it hurts with a tariff or three.”

News of the President’s attack on Mars has been rejoiced by Fox news who said of the attack: “Strong words from a strong President. If you’re against the US attacking Mars then why don’t you go and live there you damn anti-fa hippie.”

Whilst the rest of the media was more circumspect with most thankful that life hadn’t yet been discovered on Mars.

Mark Williamson 


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Lift the ban on communications! Free Julian Assange!

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 06/06/2018 - 12:53am in

by James Coga, via WSWS June 6 will mark 10 weeks since the Ecuadorian government blocked all communication by WikiLeaks’ editor Julian Assange with the outside world, including personal visitors. Assange has been trapped inside the Ecuadorian embassy in London since 2012, when Quito granted him asylum in the face of a legal witch-hunt by the governments of the United States, Britain and Sweden. Britain was moving to extradite Assange to Sweden on trumped-up allegations of sexual abuse as the first step in transferring him to the US to face charges of espionage, which carry a possible death sentence. Washington had vowed to punish Assange for having exposed before the world war crimes committed by the US in Iraq and Afghanistan as well as US intrigues against other countries. In remarks last Wednesday, Ecuadorian President Lenín Moreno attempted to defend the silencing of Assange. He sought to deny—unconvincingly—that this action was the outcome of his government’s capitulation to pressure and threats by the United States. Moreno put forward an Orwellian conception of freedom of speech …