Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half... Read More ›
Sky News
Australia’s number one Donald Trump impersonator, Peter Dutton, has wheeled his son out in front of the press to illustrate the difficulty young people face in buying their first investment property. ”Times are tough and my son is a classic... Read More ›
Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has been seen on the campaign trail with a spring in his step, following news overnight that his idol, President Trump, took inspiration from him and performed a policy backflip over imposing tariffs on the... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he is refreshed and ready to hit the campaign trail after spending the weekend indulging in his favorite hobby, physically hurting people. ”Look, week one wasn’t my best, but, I think we... Read More ›
In what some are calling a lover’s tiff, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, has angrily accused his biggest fans, the Australian media, of discriminating against his glass jaw. ”They know I’m sensitive to criticism, so what’s with all the questions,” whined... Read More ›
The Coalition’s leading numerologist, Sussan Ley, has called upon American President Donald Trump to add an extra F to the tariffs he has imposed on Australia. ”Whilst tariffs are not ideal it would help in the short term if Donald... Read More ›
The Australian media’s favourite politician, Peter Dutton, has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese call an election so that he (Dutton) can use the current welfare budget to invest in a hot stock tip. ”The sooner that Albo calls the... Read More ›
Peter Dutton’s minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has demanded that the Government put together a plan to bail out American ‘restaurant’ Hooters and potentially nationalise it, as the chain enters administration. ”What sort of a World are we living... Read More ›
A survey of Australian singles has found that a majority would like to find a partner that will love them with the passion that Australia’s media pack loves Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”It’s amazing how much they love Dutton, despite... Read More ›
Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has reacted angrily to calls to release more polices, screaming at journalists that he will do so as soon as his mentor Donald Trump does. ”The Australian people need to know that I will do... Read More ›