Anthony Albanese

ABC management have sent out a memo to all staff with an offer for grief counselling to any staff who may need it, should the ABC’s favourite politician, Peter Dutton, lose this weekend’s federal election. ”The relationship between the ABC... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s head cheerleaders, Sky News Australia, have spent the last night trying to link Prime Minister Anthony Albanese with the death of the Pope. ”Can the Prime Minister prove his whereabouts on the night the Pope died?” Asked Sky... Read More ›

Australian opposition leader, Peter ‘Donald’ Dutton, has ordered his right-hand person, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price to get in contact with Donald Trump and do a deal to make Australia the 51st state of America ”Australia needs strong leadership and I am... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has been seen on the campaign trail with a spring in his step, following news overnight that his idol, President Trump, took inspiration from him and performed a policy backflip over imposing tariffs on the... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s hand picked shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has seemingly been sidetracked this election campaign. With the member for New England heard to be asking those around him, whose leg he has to hump in order to... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he is refreshed and ready to hit the campaign trail after spending the weekend indulging in his favorite hobby, physically hurting people. ”Look, week one wasn’t my best, but, I think we... Read More ›

Australia’s next PM, according to the Nation’s journalists, as opposed to opinion polls, Peter Dutton, has announced that he will, within his first week of being PM rename the Great Australian Bight, the Great Australian Gina. ”It’s high time we... Read More ›

In what some are calling a lover’s tiff, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, has angrily accused his biggest fans, the Australian media, of discriminating against his glass jaw. ”They know I’m sensitive to criticism, so what’s with all the questions,” whined... Read More ›

The Albanese Government is considering responding to the Trump administration’s tariffs on Australian steel and aluminium by placing a tariff on the Kardashian family. ”We were initially against retaliatory tariffs as the consumer is the one who pays the price,”... Read More ›