It’s publication day for ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’. For those of you who preordered, I hope your copy has arrived and you enjoy reading it. For those of you who, for some strange reason, didn’t preorder, it should be out there in most bookshops for perusal and purchase. But only…
language
An Invention of Collective Nouns A reckoning of spreadsheets.A distraction of smartphones.A prattle of podcasts.A mispronunciation of scones. A clique of photographers.A heard of precedents.An enjambment ofpoets. A grope of presidents. A pile of haemorrhoids.A bunion of personal trainers.A bout of estimations.A condescension of mansplainers. A stroke of geniuses.A spot of adolescents.An embarrassment of Richards.A…
The Power of a Homophone “Sometimes the powerof a homophonewill just come out of nowhereand hit you –like being struckby a ten ton truck,”articulated Laurie.
On Tender Hooks Let me cut to the cheese:every time you open your mouth,I’m on tender hooks. You charge at the English languagelike a bowl in a china shop.I wish you’d nip it in the butt. On the spurt of the moment,another eggcorn tumbles out.It’s time you gave up the goat. Curve your enthusiasmand don’t…
Logomachy To say that Damianwas sesquipedalianwould be an understatement for there was no abatementin his capacity for loquacityand not one trace of temerityin his pursuitof verbal dexterity. It was precisely this pompositymixed with verbositywhich made him describeKieran Thomas as “crepuscular”. Kieran Thomas was also more muscular. Damian nursed his black eyeand hoped Kieranmight be struck…
Slow Puncture I’d use every one of them – each tiny symbol / sign –to ‘light up’ my words … and write eye-catching lines:the comma; the colon; the ellipsis; the slash;the question mark; the hyphen; the en and em dash. In stanzas 1-2, it was all there on show(Was there nothing not used? The short…
The totally ace online booksellers BookKind have chosen ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’ as their Non-Fiction Book of the Month for April. This is doubly good news because every copy sold via BookKind raises money for charity – just select from a range of charitable organisations when you order: https://bookkind.co.uk/book-of-the-month-home/ In…
And Now for the Weather Today is set to be agreeably alliterative across an assortment of areas although the occasional metaphor may cause some faces to cloud. Idioms will be coming down like stair rods in northern regions, while the south may experience the odd outbreak of similes, like an unexpected shower of arrows. In coastal, littoral, and…
This week, Waterstones are offering 25% off all preorders of my new book, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’, which publishes in April: https://www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-lay-an-egg-with-a-horse-inside/brian-bilston/9781035085729 Alternatively, signed copies are available to order through your local indie bookshop. Waterstones are also promoting 25% off for preorders of the paperback edition of my poetry collection…
An Attempt to Write an Abecedarian Poem in Praise of the Dictionary An unfaltering ability to Bring clarity to the English language Constitutes your Defining quality. Ever since the day we First met and I Giggled at the rude words Hidden amongst your pages, I adored you, Jubilant in the Knowledge that things were Looking up. You offered me the Meaning of life, Not to mention the meaning of…