SMH

The Opposition’s head cheer leader at The Australian, lil’ Simon Benson, has thanked his favourite person in the World, Daddy Dutton, for giving him the scoop on the Coalition’s alleged nuclear plan. ”I love you Daddy Dutton, you’re so much... Read More ›

Australia’s richest person, Gina Rinehart, when asked about disgraced former shock jock, Alan Jones, has replied, ”Alan Who?” Despite the former broadcaster at one time being featured prominently on Ms Rinehart’s companies website. ”A beloved national treasure like myself meets... Read More ›

Australia’s richest women, who is still in contact with one of her four children, Gina Rinehart, has come out strongly to defend beleaguered Opposition leader, Peter Dutton. Declaring him the best politician in Australia that money could buy. ”Peter is... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has asked his leader, Peter Dutton, to pick him up a bottle of Tia Maria from customs when he returns from his latest overseas jaunt. ”Pete loves a little... Read More ›

Unpopular Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has held a press conference today where he warned the Nation’s journalists to stop asking him questions over his nuclear plans, or he would punch them directly in the throat. ”Where do these journalists... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that the nuclear energy plan that the Coalition’s traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, has been working on is finally ready to be released to the public. ”Gina’s a very busy person, what with looking... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has celebrated his success over the weekend in overtaking Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in the polls by heading to his local pet store and strangling a basket of puppies. ”It’s important that we don’t just dwell... Read More ›

With the impending retirement of the first Politician to hold 5 secret ministries at the same time as being the country’s PM, Scott Morrison, Australian’s are being urged to put out their secret ministries as a sign of respect for... Read More ›

Former shock-jock and teacher (yep) Alan Jones has bemoaned the fact that grooming is no longer encouraged in Australian schools. Claiming that the lack of grooming has led to a rise in dangerous beliefs like man-made climate change or the... Read More ›

The SMH’s pompous blowhard at large Peter Fitzsimons has rushed to the Herald’s office to soothe and calm the paper’s journalists following their encounter with former Prime Minister Paul Keating. ”Was good of Pete to come in as Bevan really... Read More ›