Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has sent a letter to organisers of the Garma festival that he will not be attending this year as he needs to stay at home and wash his hair. ”As Opposition leader you are kept very... Read More ›
Gina Rinehart
Newly married billionaire, Rupert Murdoch, has told acquaintances that he is regretting talking to fellow billionaire parent, Gina Rinehart, about what to do with his kids. ”Bloody Gina, told me not to talk to my kids but rather take ’em... Read More ›
Unpopular Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has held a press conference today where he warned the Nation’s journalists to stop asking him questions over his nuclear plans, or he would punch them directly in the throat. ”Where do these journalists... Read More ›
Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has taken time away from his little American Vacation to lecture the Australian media on the need for the country to look at greater potato peeler control laws. ”We live in a country that is... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off releasing no new details of his nuclear power policy, has reacted angrily to all those against the policy (sic) saying: ”let them eat yellow cake.” ”Bloody Greenies, inner city elite and the so-called journalists... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that the nuclear energy plan that the Coalition’s traditional owner, Gina Rinehart, has been working on is finally ready to be released to the public. ”Gina’s a very busy person, what with looking... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has celebrated his success over the weekend in overtaking Prime Minister Anthony Albanese in the polls by heading to his local pet store and strangling a basket of puppies. ”It’s important that we don’t just dwell... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has launched a nation wide campaign to encourage all Australians to pull out. ”Trust me, I know the consequences of not pulling out,” said the member for New England.... Read More ›
The Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has refused to rule out National service in Australia for those aged 40 and under. The move follows UK PM (as of publishing), Rishi Sunak, promising to introduce National service in the UK... Read More ›
The Coalition’s junior member, the National party, have come out today demanding that the Albanese Government bring back leaded petrol. ”What sort of weak minded individual is Albo that he has a problem with lead?” Asked the National’s chief agitator... Read More ›