yet again we find ourselves in cook county

Error message

  • Deprecated function: The each() function is deprecated. This message will be suppressed on further calls in _menu_load_objects() (line 579 of /var/www/drupal-7.x/includes/menu.inc).
  • Deprecated function: implode(): Passing glue string after array is deprecated. Swap the parameters in drupal_get_feeds() (line 394 of /var/www/drupal-7.x/includes/common.inc).
Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 10/06/2022 - 9:57pm in

Živjo from Slovenija, where there are no McMansions. (I finally know peace.) And yet at the same time I grew homesick enough to make my way back into the Cook County Suburbs, namely Barrington, namely South Barrington, namely McMansion Hell. If only in spirit.

This $3 million, 19,700 square foot house (built in 2001) showed up in a previous post, but only its facade. I promise you it’s worth cracking it open and seeing the insides, like a gooey, ugly egg. This is probably the first post in this blog’s history where there were no bedroom photos in the listing. Perhaps Realtors™ have learned a lesson from the “Welcome to Poundtown” incident. Anyway, here goes.

Remember her? Wish I didn’t.

Foyer

The light fixture kind of reminds me of some peripheral creature you’d find in The Fifth Element. At least it’s “unique” (in the same way a high school bully with really rich parents is “unique.”)

Dining

I don’t know why paint companies have to manufacture every color under the sun. They’re putting their customers in danger of making really dumb decisions. Surely some ethics are warranted.

Great Room

I have never seen a McMansion living room bar that full of liquor. I assumed they were mostly decorative but no, these people drink.

like, they have an entire cooler room just for booze:

Kitchen

If you’re not having some Wuthering Heights moments while doing the dishes, wyd

Master Bathroom

Like I said, there weren’t any bedroom pics, but the bathroom almost makes up for it. Exceptionally weird.

Music Room

“But you don’t even play piano!”

Office

How could they do this to my third favorite color???? What did she do to deserve such ignominy?????

Finally, I leave you with some of the most baffling assemblages of architectural bits and pieces hitherto known to residential architecture:

Yeah, this is like 10 McMansions.

Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed yet another trip to the 9th circle of McMansion Hell, aka South Barrington, stay tuned for our next installment, which will be about that fake Croatian town they made in Texas.

If you liked this post, consider subscribing to the Patreon, where you will get access to livestreams, bonus posts, and the best lil discord community on the whole dang internetNot into recurring payments? Tip me – because inflation is ruining my entire life.