holidays

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ScoMo Tells Everyone To Ease Up On All The Questions As He’s Still Getting Back Into The Swing Of Things After His Holiday

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 19/01/2021 - 6:00am in

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing has asked the media to please ease up on all the questions, especially those about his colleague Craig Kelly, as he’s still trying to get back into the swing of things after his most recent holiday.

“It’s good that the press is taking an interest in what I got up to during my holidays,” said Prime Minister Scotty. ”However, when it comes to questions about what my colleagues are up, to or what President Trump did this week. I ask you all to just give me a few months to get back into the swing of things.”

“After all, it’s not like I set the Nation’s agenda!”

When asked why he was so hesitant to discuss his colleague Craig Kelly and his controversial social media posts, the PM said: ”Whilst I was on holiday I didn’t take along my phone, so I am a bit oblivious to what people are talking about on the Facebook or the old Instagram.”

”Are the Kardashians still popular? What about that wacky dude from Korea? Is he still kicking it Gangham-style?”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long day – so I might head off work early. Is Maccas still doing an all-day breakfast?”

”Nevermind, I’ll call into Engadine Maccas on the way home.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

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ScoMo Spends The Morning Telling Colleagues That He Needs A Holiday From His Holiday

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 18/01/2021 - 7:01am in

Tags 

Politics, holidays

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing has returned after his latest holiday and spent the morning walking around the office telling everyone that he encounters that he needs another holiday to recover from his latest holiday.

”It sounds like the PM had a pretty full on week,” said a government insider. ”You should see the photos – well, you probably will over the next week or so.”

”Even though it was just a holiday with Jen and the girls, he did take along his personal photographer to take a few staged happy snaps.”

When asked what was on the agenda for the PM this week, now that he’s back from holidays, the government insider said: ”Well, today he’ll catch up with everyone, see what they got up to over the break, and then, you know, he might go and have a chat to the chaps at Sky News.”

”It will probably be an early finish – maybe knock off at 3 or 4 and swing by his favourite restaurant, Engadine Maccas, for dinner.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and summon Craig Kelly. The PM is very keen to have a catch up with him and see how he’s doing.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

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ScoMo Livid That National Cabinet Has Been Scheduled To Meet On Friday Cutting Short His Weekend

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 07/01/2021 - 8:27am in

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from marketing is reportedly livid at his staff after learning that they booked him into a meeting of the National cabinet on Friday thus cutting short his weekend.

”The PM is not the type to fly off the handle he’s usually quite calm and measured, however when he found out he had a meeting this Friday well he hit the roof,” said a Parliamentary Insider. ”For some it was very reminiscent of when Kevin Rudd was in power and someone took the last tea bag.”

”It took quite a while to calm him down, we almost had to get Brian Houston on the phone.”

When asked why the PM was so averse to working on a Friday, the Spokesperson said: ”Being PM is a tough job, some weeks he has to work three maybe four days of the week.”

”Heck, last year he had to cut his holiday short by a day simply because the entire Nation was on fire, it’s not like he holds a hose or a syringe full of vaccine.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to an emergency cabinet meeting at Engadine Maccas, the PM wants to talk strategy.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

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Scotty From Marketing Stunned To Learn That Gladys Has Gone On Holiday Without An Official Photographer

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 06/01/2021 - 8:00am in

Tags 

Media, holidays

Australian Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing has remarked to colleagues that he’s stunned that NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has gone on holiday and done so without an official photographer.

”The PM was baffled when he heard the news that Gladys was holidaying sans-photographer,” said a colleague of the PM. ”He did her offer her Federal Assistance, but Gladys turned it down.”

”He keeps saying “What’s the point of a holiday if the people who vote for you don’t know about it?”

When asked why the PM was seemingly so obsessed with photographs and photographers, the PM’s colleague said: ”It’s in his DNA. I mean, they don’t call him Scotty from Marketing for nothing!”

”Besides, it’s better for the papers to be running pics of the PM in his speedos or at Bunnings than it is for the papers to be running stories on what the PM and his colleagues are actually doing, eh?”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to an official photoshoot with the PM at his restaurant of choice, Engadine Maccas.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

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