Lawyers

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NRL Asks QLD To Allow The Players To Bring Their Teams Of Lawyers To The Bubble

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 13/07/2021 - 10:29am in

Tags 

News, bubble, Lawyers

NRL Chief and professed man of feathers Peter V’Landys has begged the Queensland Government to allow the players to expand the bubble so as to allow their teams of lawyers to travel with them.

”Relocating all the NSW teams to QLD is a bit of a logistical nightmare,” said the Man Of Feathers. ”It would make it less of a burden if the Government would just allow us to bring along the lawyers as well.”

”Heck, we’ll cut back on trainers and coaches, I’m sure the lawyers can run out some water and oranges in between court appearances.”

When asked why he was so worried about the players potentially acting up, the Man Of Feathers said: ”They’re NRL players….that’s what they do.”

”I mean they play one day a week train a couple more what else is there for them to do but act up?”

”Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make sure that the rooms that the boys are staying in are fire proof.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

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Peter Dutton Calls For The Immediate Banning Of Potato Peelers

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 27/04/2021 - 7:00am in

Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has called for the immediate banning in Australia of the humble potato peeler.

”As Minister for the Dark Arts, my job is to make the country a safe place for all Liberal-voting constituents,” said the Dark Lord. ”How can people like myself and my family be safe with people running around the community brandishing potato peelers or, worse, potato mashers?”

”We will get these weapons off the street, even if I have to personally sue each and every person to do so.”

When asked why he was so focused on suing those who had an opinion that differs to his, the Dark Lord said: ”People need to learn that, when I speak – they need to listen.”

”For too long people have dared to disagree or, worse, mock me. How dare they?!”

”I am the Dark Lord Peter Dutton. You will bow down before me!”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long day and I need to do something to unwind like strangle a puppy or two.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

https://bit.ly/2y8DH68