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Hanson Demands To Know Why No One’s Calling For White Out To Be Renamed

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 24/06/2020 - 7:00am in


Politics, Left, Right


Following news that food manufacturer Allen’s Lollies will be renaming their Red Skins and Chicos products, One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson has demanded to know why no one is calling for the stationery product ‘White Out’ to be renamed.

”Where’s the outrage over ‘White Out’? It’s a product that literally eradicates the whites!” said Senator Hanson. ”These lefty elites will go to war over a Red Skin or a Chris Lilley show, but there’s complete silence when it comes to a product that targets the whites.”

”It’s one rule for them, and another for the silent majority – like me.”

When asked why, with the country in the middle of a pandemic and recession, she was focusing on the name of a stationery product, Senator Hanson said: ”I’m sick and tired of people like you questioning my motives!”

”I work damn hard everyday championing the most trivial of issues, to make sure that I get enough attention to ensure that my party gets votes, which leads to me getting money.”

”Whether it be ‘White Out’ or keeping Red Skins red, I will chase every morning TV appearance I can to make sure I get my voice heard.”

Mark Williamson


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Dutton Plans To Jail All Lefties In An Attempt To Control The Right Wing Crazies

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 26/02/2020 - 7:00am in


Politics, Left, Right


Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has announced a plan to jail all Australian lefties in an attempt to protect the country from right-wing extremists. The move comes after a briefing from ASIO warning of the danger of right-wing extremists.

“I think most Australians would agree that jailing lefties is the best way to handle the threat posed from the right,” said the Dark Lord. “After all if the left are not seen nor heard then the right has nothing to get angry about.”

“In an ideal World I’d be shipping the left off to Christmas island, however that’s full at the moment. Just as well really as no doubt those annoying lefties would be complaining about it being Christmas island and not Hanukkah island or Kwanza island.”

When asked why all of a sudden the Minister feels that there is a threat from the left when the head of ASIO was quite specific that the threat came from the right, the Minister said: “How dare you question me. Who do you think you are to question the dark lord?”

“I look forward to next week when all those who I consider to be lefties will be shipped off to jail and no longer will I have to deal with questions or scrutiny.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to meet with Matthias to help coach him in remedial maths.”

Mark Williamson

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.