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Family to spend $4.75 petrol excise windfall on buying half a broccoli

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 29/03/2022 - 12:16pm in

The McMillon family in Sydney’s West will celebrate the unexpected cash injection from Josh Frydenberg’s petrol excise cut by buying a small portion of a staple vegetable from their local Woolworth’s this week.

With petrol prices set to tumble by an expected 15 cents a litre, many families will now be able to afford luxuries, like food.

“Consider our cost-of-living pressures eased! We’re splashing out!” a jubilant Sally McMillon explained after hearing about the budget windfall, which she expects will save her north of $4 a week.  

She said the family had their eye on a capsicum too. “Although it looks like we’ll need to save up for that”.  

Conversations About House Prices Up 23%

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 21/03/2022 - 4:25pm in

Figures released today show that the number of conversations about house prices continues to rise in Australia, with social gatherings in some suburbs becoming simply unbearable. Conversations were up 23.7% across the country compared with last year, with the growth even higher in Melbourne and Sydney.

Robert Erskine from The Real Estate Conversations Institute said there were no signs of a slowdown in discussions about how a run-down three bedroom semi-detached townhouse sold for double what it would’ve five years ago. “There are still some suburbs where you can attend a social function without conversations about house prices, but it’s becoming more difficult,” he said.

Mark Fitch from Richmond in Melbourne’s east, says he knows a guy who went out with friends in North Fitzroy three years ago where there were just four conversations about house prices. “If he went out there with friends today, there’d be minimum six, probably seven conversations. It’s just crazy”.

“That’s nothing!” said Mark’s friend Jenny, before telling her own, really interesting story.

Simone Hannity from Sydney’s Inner West said she feared being shut out of conversations with friends if she didn’t have a pithy anecdote about how a knockdown in Redfern went for 40% above reserve. “I’m in my mid thirties and I don’t have a single thing to say about property, and I’m starting to wonder whether I ever will. It’s getting harder and harder to join in social groups if you don’t give a shit about house prices,” she said.

Worker celebrates creation of 8-hour workday by working 12-hour public holiday shift

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 14/03/2022 - 4:01pm in

Melbourne café worker Sarah Debanski has once again been given the choice of punching out a 12-hour shift on a public holiday or losing her job, in what she described as a fitting way to commemorate Labor Day in Victoria and the creation of the 8-hour workday.

Struggling to catch public transport due to public holiday timetables, Debanski said waking at 5:45am and arriving home around 9:00pm was probably what labourers had in mind when they downed tools in Melbourne in the 1850s to demand shorter working hours, leading to the 40-hour work week and the Labour Day commemoration.

“Being available at any given moment, even when I’m not given shifts, having shifts cancelled at the last minute, and having to make unreasonable demands, like not having to choose between paying rent and eating food, is what Labour Day is all about,” she said.

Debanski said the 12-hour public holiday shift is an ancient tradition, with its roots stretching back to medieval Europe where serfs worked dawn to dusk. “Although at least they didn’t have to deal with anti-vaxxers”.

More as the shift drags on.

By Matt Harvey @mattharveystuff 

Man saving up for tank of petrol

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 24/02/2022 - 10:11am in

Perth man Rob McMann has set himself the savings goal of buying 55 litres of unleaded petrol, saying it’s the most expensive thing he’ll buy this year.

“It’s good to have a savings goal,” McMann said, flipping through pictures of petrol stations he hopes to one day visit. “I was going to save up for a holiday or a new bike, but then I thought, nah I want to get a tank of BP 91 unleaded. It’s a stretch, for sure. But I think I can get there”. The office worker tossed up whether to save up for a tank of Premium 98, but said he’d need to wait for a pay rise for that.

McMann has set up a direct withdrawal from his weekly salary that will go into a special savings account. “I figure if I put aside a little bit each week then it won’t seem so daunting”.  

The twenty-eight year-old says he’ll often walk past the servos in his area to do what he calls ‘window shopping’. “It’s fun to walk past the BP or the Shell and think – with a bit of discipline, and a bit of cutting back, one day I’ll be able to drive in here, fill up my car and pay for the petrol outright”.

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