retail

Coles Release Series Of Collectable Mini Choked Sea Animals

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 17/07/2019 - 11:30am in

coles

Supermarket chain Coles has announced that following on from the success of its mini collectable grocery items it will be releasing a series of mini collectable sea creatures that have choked on discarded plastic shopping bags.

“Shoppers will be able to collect such items as a tiny replica loggerhead sea turtle with a Coles plastic bag stuck halfway down its gullet,” confirmed Coles marketing executive Ray Markup. “The range will also include an octopus with its legs trapped inside a plastic bag, a dugong with a plastic bag caught on its flipper and a red footed booby with its neck caught in the handles of a plastic bag.”

“I’ve got three spare mini stormy petrels with plastic bags in their windpipe that I’m willing to swap for a rare mini wandering albatross with a plastic bag wedged in its lower intestines,” said desperate shopper Fiona Flybuys. “I’m hoping to get a mini dolphin with a plastic bag in its blowhole next time I spend thirty dollars and then I’ll have the complete set.”

There have been reports of rare collectables from the ‘Little Choke’ range selling for as much as $300 on e-bay to obsessive collectors.

In response, rival store Woolworths has been considering giving away its own range of collectable mini dairy farmers who’ve been sent to the wall by spiralling farm gate prices for milk.

Peter Green
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Sign Of Hope Or Worry? When The Dollar Store Comes To Town

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 18/04/2019 - 1:00am in

Tags 

Economics, retail

On a “mission to save my neighborhood,” Burnell Cotlon, an Army veteran, built his Lower 9th Ward Market literally by hand, shingle by shingle. Today, his counter wall features cameo shots with Mark Zuckerberg. The launderette out back was donated by Ellen DeGeneres. There are shiny apples and $4.50 pork chop plates. His grocery store is seen as an oasis. But Mr. Cotlon’s gambit to help revive a stagnant Lower 9th Ward faces a new challenge: the Dollar General down the street. A boom in dollar stores across the United States since the Great Recession – three open every day on average – has provided both hope and despair in communities struggling for economic footholds.