Serbia

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Australia Wonders What ScoMo Will Stuff Up Next

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 17/01/2022 - 7:00am in

After a week in which the country has suffered through a severe shortage of Rapid Antigen Tests with Covid running wild and now appearing to be at war with Serbia over the fallout from Novak Djokovic’s visa issues, the majority of Australians are wondering what Prime Minister ScoMo will stuff up next.

”Well, we know he doesn’t hold a hose, but God damn doesn’t he have anyone in his inner circle who might be able to show him how?” Asked a Nurse who was taking a quick 5 minute break from their 16 hour shift.

‘Being PM’s not an easy job that’s for sure, but this bloke doesn’t turn up half the time,” said a small business owner desperately seeking staff. ”Don’t suppose you know how to wait tables or clean dishes?”

When reached for comment on how he thought the country was coping with his leadership, the PM said: ”How good is Australia?”

”We are moving forward and not looking back. In fact I’m going to pass a law to make it illegal to look back. Unless of course you are looking back at how good Captain Cook was.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to have a hit with my good mate Bernard Tomic, he’s a good chance to win the open this year, well he will be once Border Force thins out the field a bit.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

https://bit.ly/2y8DH68

Nation Eagerly Awaits Who The PM Will Throw Under A Bus Over The Djokovic Bungle

Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/01/2022 - 8:20am in

Australians are eagerly waiting to see who Prime Minister Scotty who was fired from marketing will throw under a bus following his Government’s bungling of Novac Djokovic’s visa.

”The field is wide open as to who ScoMo will throw under a bus,” said a Spokesperson for Sportsbet. ”We have Karen Andrews as odds on favourite followed by Dan Andrews.”

”However, you can’t write off Bridget McKenzie, she definitely has form in this area.”

When asked whether many Australians were gambling on who the PM will throw under a bus, the Spokesperson for Sportsbet said: ”At the moment with Covid running rampant there’s not much else for people to do but sit around and gamble.”

”And we run bets on pretty much anything you can poke a stick at, including who you can poke a stick at.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I saw two seagulls fighting over a chip I need to get over there and start taking some bets.”

”Oh, please gamble responsibly.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

https://bit.ly/2y8DH68