A Review by the Couple That Only Rented This Airbnb to Bang

Created
Tue, 19/09/2023 - 22:00
Updated
Tue, 19/09/2023 - 22:00

We had a lovely stay at Josh and Brandon’s cozy mountain cottage. Our hosts included many thoughtful touches that made the place really feel like a home away from home. We just had a few things we’d like to note for future travelers considering booking this place.

The bed frame could be sturdier. The kitchen counter could be sturdier. The patio furniture could be sturdier. The bathroom sink could be sturdier. The refrigerator is surprisingly sturdy—no complaints there!

We really appreciated the linen closet stocked full of towels. Thank god. We needed every single towel. And one of the bath mats.

We loved how many mirrors there were throughout the home, but we could’ve used a few in the kitchen—especially above that sturdy fridge.

We couldn’t figure out which remote works the TV, but we ended up using both remotes for something else.

The carpeting in the living room was so soft and luxurious. The rug in the bedroom was a little itchy, but only if you touched it with your naked butt. The basement stairs had some splinters, but again, it’s only an issue if you touch them with your naked butt.

The accent throw pillows in the living room added an elegant pop of color to the decor and provided countless hours of knee support. The patterns were extremely forgiving to stains and splats, which we appreciated. The couch was huge—it could fit up to five horizontal bodies comfortably. The living room chairs were so cozy. They’re upholstered with the exact fabric blend you want to feel on your naked butt.

A previous guest was thoughtful enough to leave behind a family-size jar of mayo in the fridge, which ended up being perfect for our needs. Oh, that reminds me—the flooring in the hallway gets extremely slippery, so be careful.

The shower was a little on the small side. Only three people at a time could fit inside it, and it was a bit cramped. Kevin had to watch from the toilet.

Beware, the neighbors are a little intrusive. Three times, someone named Shannon came to the door and asked us to please shut the windows or stop screaming, “Dance the tango of ecstasy, Daddy.” We invited her to come in for a glass of wine, which she declined.

Again, we so enjoyed our time at Josh and Brandon’s. Looking forward to returning—see you soon, Shannon!