Freddie and Eddie, the Nation’s Leading Temu Abbott and Costello, in “Dat Bird!”

Created
Mon, 06/10/2025 - 23:00
Updated
Mon, 06/10/2025 - 23:00

“Goose is a jam band. Geese is indie rock. They both have new albums. They’re also both on tour. Confused? We can help.”
New York Times

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FREDDIE: Hey, Eddie.

EDDIE: Hey, Freddie.

FREDDIE: So Eddie, I’m putting together a playlist for the Audubon event.

EDDIE: Who’s on it?

FREDDIE: I got Geese.

EDDIE: Goose?

FREDDIE: No, Geese.

EDDIE: More than one?

FREDDIE: It’s just the one. Geese.

EDDIE: I’m saying. Geese is more than Goose.

FREDDIE: I’m glad you think so. I tried for Goose, too, but no luck.

EDDIE: What went wrong?

FREDDIE: They led me around and around and around for nothing.

EDDIE: You went on a chase?

FREDDIE: Well, yeah. I did.

EDDIE: A wild chase?

FREDDIE: Exactly.

EDDIE: A wild goose chase?

FREDDIE: No. Geese was who I got.

EDDIE: Birdbrain! I feel like I’m talking to a Stresemann’s bristlefront.

FREDDIE: I heard that, but I ain’t heard of dat bird!

EDDIE: Who else?

FREDDIE: I got the Fabulous Thunderbirds. I got the Partridge Family. I got Owl City.

EDDIE: Are all the bands named after birds?

FREDDIE: Well, that was 1964.

EDDIE: What was?

FREDDIE: The Byrds were named then.

EDDIE: So?

FREDDIE: So all of these came after.

EDDIE: Birdbrain! I feel like I’m talking to a rufous-headed hornbill.

FREDDIE: I heard that, but I ain’t heard of dat bird!

EDDIE: Let’s keep going.

FREDDIE: I got the Eagles.

EDDIE: Peaceful, easy feeling.

FREDDIE: Not really. These ones are loud.

EDDIE: Eagles of Death Metal?

FREDDIE: It’s more like garage rock with a little bit of glam.

EDDIE: Birdbrain! I feel like I’m talking to a New Caledonian owlet-nightjar!

FREDDIE: I heard that, but I ain’t heard of dat bird!

EDDIE: I have a different question for you. You got any live acts?

FREDDIE: Some of them are alive.

EDDIE: No. I mean, are they playing live?

FREDDIE: How could they play if they’re dead?

EDDIE: I mean, will they be onstage at the event?

FREDDIE: Oh, yeah. I got some playing at the bandshell.

EDDIE: Which ones?

FREDDIE: All the ones about crows are there. I got Sheryl Crow. I got the Black Crowes.

EDDIE: Counting Crows.

FREDDIE: Okay.

EDDIE: Okay what?

FREDDIE: You done?

EDDIE: Done with what?

FREDDIE: Counting crows. I count two.

EDDIE: No. That’s another band.

FREDDIE: What is?

EDDIE: Counting Crows.

FREDDIE: So… three?

EDDIE: Birdbrain! I feel like I’m talking to a Christmas Island frigatebird!

FREDDIE: I heard that, but I ain’t heard of dat bird!