Reading
Originally published July 26, 2023.
1. Rent one big house together. Working “together” to choose a house, everyone should drag their feet and be overly polite until the bossiest one just takes care of it. The Boss should resent that they had to do everything. Everyone else should resent that The Boss got to make the decision. No one should say anything (yet).
2. Gather funding. This financial component is essential for establishing tension from the start because everyone in your family has different incomes. Even The Boss (who is the wealthiest) says, “Whoa,” upon seeing the price per night.
3. Make sure the house is spacious enough to accommodate everyone (technically) but also no one (comfortably). Some variations to maximize relationship destruction:
Originally published July 2, 2019
The full transcript from the CNN Presidential debate between President Thomas Whitmore and challenger Governor Patrick Stevens.
WOLF BLITZER, MODERATOR: Welcome to the CNN debate for the 1996 presidential election. President Whitmore, let me begin by thanking you for saving our country and the entire world from the alien invasion this past July Fourth.
(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE)
PRESIDENT THOMAS WHITMORE: I just did what any other fighter jet pilot hero president would have done.
(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE THAT TURNS INTO A STANDING OVATION)
- by Psyche Film
- by David Wengrow