Reading

I feel totally fine buying things, as long as I do my research first. That’s why, after ten minutes at an open house, I’m now completely comfortable going into debt for the next thirty years.

Before I bought a used car, I read twenty-six reviews of that specific make, model, and year, written by twenty-six different car experts. I studied every detail of the Carfax. I test-drove the car four times, including once with my mechanic and once with my mechanic’s mechanic.

It makes sense to spend the equivalent of fifty-five cars for a house that, at least between 2:34 p.m. and 2:44 p.m. on a Saturday, smells only slightly bad.

I recently bought a humidifier too. I cross-checked the Wirecutter recommendation with customers’ Amazon reviews. My cousin, who has the same humidifier, outlined the pros and cons for me. I ultimately bought it because it has a ninety-day satisfaction-guaranteed return policy. I don’t need a satisfaction guarantee on this house, though, because the realtor will give me a piece of paper where the previous owner will promise, on the honor system, that the roof doesn’t leak much.

i.
death descends, in spite of help, in spite

of the one who would help who

is rendered instead—on the sweaty bed, on the cold

bathroom tiles—witness. but what is there

to see. they—we—used to say

the soul would slip like smoke

between parted lips & rise to hover

above its fleshly vehicle, giving up gravity

for air. maybe what falls upon us—each witless

witness, instantly alone—is

insight, that what we cannot stop

or watch we can feel: the dead

weight of what someone beloved has discarded

into our arms. maybe what drops into the scene

is not death, but life, the weight

of what we call carrying

on.

ii.
in an uncentral park, maya lin plants

a ghost forest, atlantic white cedar from the pine barrens

killed by salt from rising seas, claimed

for art to haunt the city

with the consequences of climate change. we cut

trees down for coffins, they cradle

our remains without audible complaint. lin

installed those bare-branched cedars

Why did the banana split?

It found out it was going to be a father.

Why do dads love mowing the lawn?

They see lawn care as maintaining their property and protecting their substantial investment. It’s also the one time they can be alone with their thoughts.

Why couldn’t the dad sleep?

He was worried about money.

Why didn’t the dad want to have kids?

He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.

Did you hear about the dad who loved Eagles songs?

All dads love Eagles songs. It reminds them of their carefree youth.

Knock-knock!

Who’s there?

Hello, may I speak with the man of the house about the electricity bill?

Get off my porch.

KID: I’m hungry.

DAD: Hi, hungry. I’m tired.

Why do dads fart so much?

Their bodies are aging and breaking down.

The Labor government and the entire ruling class have waged a relentless campaign to cut the “unsustainable” growth of the NDIS. With children under 15 making up about half of NDIS participants, the government is targeting them first.

The post Fight cuts to disability support and say No to the market first appeared on Solidarity Online.

Joining ChatGPT, Gemini, Meta, and many other powerful chatbot services, we are proud to announce the release of our new RI (real intelligence) service, ChatPerson.

Unlike other chatbots, ChatPerson’s answers to your queries are provided by real humans. Specifically, it is staffed by writers, artists, and researchers whose livelihoods are in peril thanks to chatbots. Ask ChatPerson anything you would ask your favorite chatbot, and it will answer within seconds. Below are a few FAQs about this exciting new service.

Can people really answer as quickly as a chatbot?
Almost! Limited only by their typing speed and their consciences.

And ChatPerson’s answers will be accurate?
They will be confident.

That’s not the same thing.
It is the exact same thing offered by the chatbots you use now.

Come on, ChatGPT is pretty accurate. I use it all the time.
And how do you know it’s accurate?

I double-check.
By?

By… asking ChatGPT.
Yeah.

1. This used to be a rite of passage, but for your generation, I believe it’s considered optional.

2. You may be asked questions that you’re not expecting. Don’t panic. Try to figure out the best response from the available options.

3. Most people just bluff their way through it the first time and see what happens.

4. It might not last as long as you think it will. It’s quicker now than it was in my day because teenagers don’t have the same attention span.

5. The occasional involuntary grunt is okay, but try to avoid making other noises. You don’t want to throw off someone else’s game.

6. At some point, you might wonder why years of schooling have not adequately prepared you for this experience.

7. Once it’s over, you may feel unhappy with your performance. Don’t get too upset. You can always try again, but I recommend waiting until you’re better prepared.

8. Remember, people usually do better on their second try.

9. Keep in mind that there isn’t a level playing field. Data shows that it’s easier for males to achieve a positive outcome.

Every year, we wonder what might be appropriate on this day, and we can never think of anything more appropriate than this piece, which John Hodgman originally delivered at a literary reading shortly after September 11, 2001.

Good evening.

My name is John Hodgman. I am a former professional literary agent, which on a good day is a pretty small thing to be, and these days feels rather microscopic. Before I was a professional literary agent, I thought it would be a good idea to be a teacher of fiction in a college MFA program because it is easy and you are adored all the time, and of course, it pays a lot of money.

I used to have a lot of bright ideas.

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Calls to end complicity in Israel’s genocide in Gaza have escalated in the EU and U.S. — but both face opposition from the political status quo.

The post EU Leader Calls to Sanction Israel as U.S. Progressives Push to End Arms Sales appeared first on The Intercept.

Palestinian students who were admitted to American universities are now trapped in Gaza, where Israel has destroyed most schools.

The post Gaza Students Found a Lifeline to U.S. Colleges. Then Trump Shut the Door. appeared first on The Intercept.

Ashley, can we talk about our driveway encounter the other day? I realize we don’t know each other very well, but let me just come right out and say it: Please don’t judge me for the fact that I was blasting the KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack in my car.

Was it necessary for me to keep the music cranked to full volume while waiting for the track “Golden” to finish? Possibly not. At any rate, I recognize that my own singing may have impeded your full enjoyment of the song, given that the high notes are at least an octave out of range for my alto voice. But as an experienced high school choir girl who in 1998 was given a one-line solo in “Stormy Weather”—well, how can I keep from singing? And after hitting “repeat” on that track approximately a hundred times while driving around town the past week, I feel confident in saying that those high notes are starting to resemble a more human and less squeaky or animalistic sound. If I may say, I’m going “up, up, up with [my] voice.”

However, I did not mean to upset your dog.

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The senator told The Intercept the attack defied rules of engagement and came from a drone. A legal expert calls it murder.

The post Rand Paul Reveals Venezuela Boat Attack Was a Drone Strike appeared first on The Intercept.

Angelico Schwartzkopf
and Jean-Paul Pudzianowski
Fine Art Authenticators

I. Introduction

As requested, herein is our authentication report on the artwork with catalogue number 45/47.

II. Alleged Artist’s Statement

Nearly all authentication disputes involve works allegedly created by long-dead artistic masters. In this case, however, the alleged artist is still alive and denounces the work in question as a forgery. However, many mature artists (and the alleged artist is very old, regardless of maturity level) renounce or even destroy artworks from their younger days to protect their reputations from association with earlier, less polished work. Thus, it is possible that the alleged artist is trying to disassociate himself from this work out of concern for his reputation.

What can be safely said is that whether the work is the creation of the alleged artist or a forgery, the creator wishes to remain anonymous. Thus, this report will scrupulously guard against revealing the identity of the alleged artist.

Moved by mystical visions and the French Revolution, William Blake crafted a radical blueprint for living with purpose

- Video by Great Books Explained

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