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In this column, professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.

Tick-tock: the bachelor or bachelorette or bachelorx party is approaching, and your buddy has insisted that they want you to “totally roast them.” Unfortunately, there is no time to question what ignominious circumstances led them to this masochistic desire. There is only time to write jokes.

I’ve written roasts for celebrities and politicians at fundraisers and closed-door events; I’ve roasted coworkers at their farewell parties; I’ve made fun of friends when they made a typo in the group chat and then I’ve changed the name of the group chat to have the typo in it.

So take it from me: you can both get laughs and protect your friendships (and professional contacts, and geopolitical relationships). Here’s how.

Dear Wyna Liu, Editor of Connections:

My morning ritual used to be a time of peace and solitude. A sacred time in which I’d gather up the energy to face the day. I’d brew my coffee and eat my smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel. And then I’d open up the New York Times Games App.

I’d always start with the Spelling Bee. Personally, I like to find the pangram first and then hopefully find enough words for a respectable “Great” or “Amazing.” Not every morning is a “Genius!” morning—and that’s okay!

Then, I’d do the daily Crossword. Not the Mini, the Crossword. A delightful five-minute exercise on Mondays, an hour-long conquest on Sundays.

And if I still had time before my first meeting of the day (and sometimes I’ll admit, during my first meeting of the day), I’d do the sudokus. My personal goal was to solve the easy level in under three minutes and the medium in under four. Just for an extra little challenge, you know?

These puzzles were our brain ticklers, modern man’s solution to the sphinx’s riddle. But you got excited, maybe you got greedy.

You introduced Connections.

- by Farah Abdessamad

Read at Aeon

- by Martina Orlandi

Read at Psyche

Source - Patreon

Source - Patreon

Source - Patreon

American forces did most of the heavy lifting responding to Iran’s retaliation for the attack on its embassy in Damascus.

The post U.S., Not Israel, Shot Down Most Iran Drones and Missiles appeared first on The Intercept.

The latest movie adaptation of Frank Herbert’s classic novel Dune, Dune: Part Two directed by Denis Villeneuve, has set truly intergalactic box office records, and been globally exalted by movie critics. Dune: Part Two has, of 24 March, hit over US$220 million in the United States domestic box-office, and worm-holed its way to over US$520 million globally. Villeneuve’s latest foray into the harsh world of Arrakis has been critically acclaimed as a masterpiece, with the film compared favourably to the brilliant Star Wars sequel The Empire Strikes Back, while it currently enjoys near-perfect popular and critical reviews.  

Columbia is one of several universities that seriously disciplined students protesting against Israel’s war in Gaza this month.

The post Ahead of Congressional Testimony, Columbia President Cracks Down on Student Advocacy for Palestine appeared first on The Intercept.