Okay, so look. I’m your basic galvanized steel thrie-beam guardrail. My job is to keep vehicles from flying off the escarpment and squishing all the people driving on the westbound lane who don’t wanna die just because some mope on the eastbound couldn’t be bothered to keep his hands on the wheel. You know what I wasn’t built for? This Trump bullshit.
If a Mazda spins out at one hundred miles per hour, or a school bus driver has to turn around to yell at Jimmie Jr.—I’m your man. But you drive an eight-ton semi with an airplane propeller stuck to the grill into me at top speed? I mean, there’s only so much malarkey I was engineered to handle, you know? We’re built for normal problems, not the kind of thing you get when you hand the wheel over to a lunatic.