Dear Students,
Again, my sincerest apologies for offering Classics and Contemporary American Culture this semester. When I pitched this class to the English department chair, I believed Harris would win and we’d spend the semester making interesting literary connections to her sober policy choices. I didn’t foresee that the canon itself would leer at our nation’s pathetic descent into discount fascism.
God knows how many more years of this nightmare we’ll have to endure, but this class is mercifully at an end. Here are the answers to the final exam. Feel free to grade yourselves, and then take full advantage of the open bar at my desk during final office hours this week.
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1. Compare the characters at the end of Our Town to ourselves on January 19, 2025. Is Emily right when she says that the living didn’t know how good they had it?
No.
2. Where is Dorian Gray’s portrait, now that it has left the attic?
Giving a presser on the new, Qatari-Royal-Family-gifted Air Force One.