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Created
Fri, 09/01/2026 - 05:00

Power on your PCs, my gentle users, because I just found a fresh Excel file to overcomplicate. Hoo boy, I can’t wait to rework every cell of “Company Staffing.xlsx.”

Most peons at this company think a spreadsheet is just a tool to create a budget. Not me. Not us. You see, there’s one of us in every organization. Though it’s nowhere in our job descriptions, we spend hours crafting Gordian knots of obscure Excel features so that even the simplest files become unrecognizable monstrosities.

Before we do anything with these measly kilobytes, we need to duplicate this file. Several times. Then we add an underscore, “NEW,” and a different numbering convention. The filename should evoke the image of an overbaked Feast of Assumption turducken.

There. We’re ready to open “Company Staffing_NEW_FINAL_003.xlsx.”

Created
Thu, 08/01/2026 - 23:20

“We need to prepare for the possibility that the U.S. uses military coercion against Canada.” — Headline from op-ed in The Globe and Mail.

- - -

Jamming vital infrastructure with Anne of Green Gables souvenirs

Giving birth to future resistance fighters without taking on crippling debt

Using that year-long parental leave to transform dried maple leaves into lethal throwing stars

Locating resistance headquarters in New Brunswick, where invading forces will never think to look

Casually walking past armored vehicles stuck in snowbanks without even offering to push

Conceding Alberta

Establishing an underground network consisting of retired men taking up tables all morning at Tim Hortons

Milk in plastic bags

Smiling politely at invaders but talking shit behind their back

Confounding invaders by using the metric system but also incorporating imperial measures in specific but not especially logical ways

Created
Thu, 08/01/2026 - 17:24
I grew up in a society where collective will was at the forefront and it is true to say people looked out for each other. The state – at all levels – had various policy structures in place to provide levels of economic protection for the least advantaged members of society. Having grown up in…
Created
Thu, 08/01/2026 - 11:25

“It is no surprise to either Marimar or myself that this happened and, unfortunately, it is going to continue to happen,” the Chicago woman’s lawyer said.

The post Chicago Woman Shot by Border Patrol Reacts to Minneapolis ICE Killing: “Of Course This Happened” appeared first on The Intercept.