Experience a heart attack while working in the herb garden.
Wonder what its middle school bully is doing now.
Show up to court in a white linen suit.
Drape itself face down over an ottoman in a fit of ennui.
Adjourn to the study for brandy and cigars.
Yearn, long, or pine.
Suspect that something evil has happened in this very room.
Fall for Doreen.
Lose its sense of time in a Hudson News and miss its flight.
Have a least-favorite roommate.
Cultivate a neglectful-dad-type mystique.
Admire the voluptuous nature of a cloud.
Climax in unison with its lover.
Hunt down the nautical animal that took its appendage.
Obtain a meditative state and lose it.
Extend a too-firm handshake to its daughter’s boyfriend.
Swiftly transition from self-loathing to acceptance at the sight of its dead and unwatered fig plant.
Twirl a little parasol and play hard-to-get with the boys at the race track.
Rid itself of the feeling that this yoga retreat is a scam.
Chug this Modelo in front of everyone.
Become shy about its weird areolas.