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The Party of Small Government Demands Twenty-Four-Hour Video Footage of Your Children

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-party-of-small-government-demands-twent…
Created
Thu, 19/03/2026 - 03:47

“GOP Ohio lawmaker calls for camera monitoring system to prevent child care fraud.” — Dayton Daily News

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We Republicans know what you, the American people, want most: round-the-clock video surveillance of your children handed over directly to us, your freedom-loving government.

How else can we be sure that your hard-earned taxpayer money is well-spent? How do we know that Miss Taylor’s School for Tots isn’t secretly a Taco Bell masquerading as a childcare center? If two children playing aren’t being watched 24-7 through a live feed routed to a government agency, do they even exist?

An Excerpt from Annabelle Gurwitch’s New Memoir, The End of My Life Is Killing Me: The Unexpected Joys of a Cancer Slacker

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-excerpt-from-annabelle-gurwitchs-new-mem…
Created
Thu, 19/03/2026 - 00:00

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After Annabelle Gurwitch received an out-of-the-blue diagnosis of Stage 4 lung cancer, an existential dread set in. Precision medicine offered a temporary reprieve—but instead of turning into a cancer warrior, Annabelle declared herself a cancer slacker. Her motto: no runs, no ribbons, no religion.

Told with her signature wit, warmth, and gimlet eye, Gurwitch draws inspiration from Greek mythology and TV comedies, Kermit the Frog and Samuel Beckett. She accidentally acquires an angel, embraces being in it “just for the sex,” and finds herself on a European van tour selling merch for a heavy metal band.

Literary References, According to Tech Bros

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/literary-references-according-to-tech-bros
Created
Wed, 18/03/2026 - 23:00

From Grok to Palantír to “wireheading,” tech bros are renowned for flawlessly using literary references to name and explain technology in ways that absolutely never misunderstand the source texts. Here are some examples you might hear bandied about the Bay Area and beyond.

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Doublethink | verb
To operate two large language models simultaneously, typically one with each hand.

Usage: “I don’t care that you’re going into labor, honey. I’m doublethinking with Claude and Grok right now.”

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Cash-22 | noun
A situation in which a startup founder must do unspeakable things to secure necessary funding.

Usage: “Our CEO was in a Cash-22 at the Peter Thiel pitch event, and now he’s a mere shell of a man.”

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Sword of Damocles | proper noun
A human-first motivational framework employed in Amazon warehouses.

The Script of Every American Movie Set in Ireland

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-script-of-every-american-movie-set-in-i…
Created
Wed, 18/03/2026 - 04:45

FADE IN.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Open on rolling hills of violently oversaturated green. The scenery suggests a temporal twilight zone, some time between 1745 and the present day.

Against all statistical likelihood, it is not raining.

We zoom in on any ginger AMERICAN actress getting off a tour bus. She steps directly into a pile of cow dung / a procession of priests / the Troubles.

An OLD MAN appears over the crest of a hill, accompanied by a SIMPLE-MINDED FOOL and a DOG. The OLD MAN stares across the hills in a wise and vaguely mystical way.

OLD MAN
The path is just a road that hasn’t found its way home yet.

Mikael Damberg borde lyssna på Ernst Wigforss!

https://larspsyll.wordpress.com/2026/03/17/mikael-damberg-borde-lyssna-pa-ernst…
Created
Tue, 17/03/2026 - 21:42
När Finanspolitiska rådet för några veckor sedan kritiserade regeringen för att inte ha följt sina egna (rampolitiska) ekonomiska regler, kunde den socialdemokratiske skuggfinansministern Mikael Damberg uppenbarligen inte låta bli att ta tillfället i akt och i populistisk anda ondgöra sig över att “våra barn och barnbarn kommer behöva betala för att svenska politiker i dag […]

Mass Disabling Continues

https://www.ianwelsh.net/mass-disabling-continues/
Created
Tue, 17/03/2026 - 11:43
Recently stumbled across a thread by someone who dug deeply into the most recent data from Britain. It’s pretty abysmal, but what’s most interesting is the notes: There’s no systemic testing for either covid or long covid any more; Long Covid is often diagnosed as something else; You can have organ damage from Covid without […]