Net Zero

The Opposition’s newest talisman, Barnaby Joyce, has spent the weekend asking his colleagues to jump. This directive has been met with a smile from interim Opposition leader, Sussan ‘SS’ Ley, and a query of how high? ”It’s a sign of... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan SS Ley, has asked the tax payer to fork out over 100k in order to bring her Coalition colleagues back to Canberra so that they can vote on changing their policies to appease Barnaby Joyce. ”We’ve... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan ‘SS’ Ley, is tipped today to announce a new Coalition slogan, what Barnaby wants Barnaby gets, as well as a ban on monogamy. ”We’ve had a really constructive week, the team and I,” said SS Ley.... Read More ›

Drunk adulterer, Barnaby Joyce, is tipped to be named as heir apparent to racist bigot Pauline Hanson as leader of the fringe band of lunatics that is One Nation. ”Pauline has done a fantastic job of building up One Nation... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has told colleagues that she plans to arrest her falling popularity by adding an extra S to her name. ”People were very interested to hear why I am Sussan, not Susan,” said the interim leader.... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›

Australia is set to meet their target of hitting net zero much earlier than 2050 after scientists managed to figure out how to channel the anger generated from low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, to power the grid. ”It’s early... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told colleagues that he will defy the Coalition and seek to introduce a private member’s bill that will repeal the net zero bonk ban. ”Australians have had a gutful of... Read More ›

Angertainment channel, Sky News Australia, has urged the Coalition to ignore the results of the last election and instead listen to the stations viewers, all 6 of them, and ditch the plan to heads towards net zero. ”The Coalition needs... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has delivered a speech over the weekend where he pledged to take Australia back to the good old days by abolishing the metric system. ”People are confused and it’s time the Government acted and abolished this... Read More ›