stravages

Created
Sun, 11/01/2015 - 18:21

Awoke after a restless night with an aching back. Lay in bed from two in the morning. My mind tangentially racing around pointless circuits. Exasperated I made the decision to get up at dawn and run to Villeville and back. As the sun rose I fell asleep. At eight Suzy …

Created
Wed, 14/01/2015 - 18:21

Why do I feel like this? There appears to be no good reason. I feel like killing myself, there is no reason to be hanging around. For years I have used the spinning plates analogy to describe my life. Either I have too many plates up and spinning. I feel …

Created
Tue, 02/10/2018 - 07:52

Running my hand along the kitchen bench my fingers gripped momentarily on congealed sticky oil. I wiped my fingers on a towel and poured a glass of Roku Gin. Earlier today I booked a cheap hotel room in Colaba, Mumbai. Gregory Robert’s book came to mind and I thought …

Created
Thu, 04/10/2018 - 16:14

Sleep has been avoiding me lately. It waits until I have given up on it and then gets me. It normally does so just before I have to get up. I lay awake last night watching my brain churning through increasingly bizarre thoughts. At some stage I was thinking about …

Created
Mon, 03/06/2019 - 06:31
Ramat Hashofet in 1990. A blurry old night time photo of my friends and I around a fire outside some huts
Another life, in the past

Last night I woke up and finally understood the existential answers to the questions posed by my life. The nature of restlessness and desire to travel. How to avoid hurting those I loved if I selfishly left. I finally figured out what I needed to …

Created
Tue, 06/08/2019 - 02:44
Thought spirals
Sometimes it feels like this.

I want to move the fence, make our yard bigger for our fat dog. Re does not want me to start without a landscaping consultation of some kind. Despite this I have mostly formed plans involving retaining walls and wire mesh fencing. The first step …

Created
Tue, 27/08/2019 - 08:19
Sisyphus by Titian
Sisyphus by Titian

It’s a Saturday morning. I can hear a phalanx of lawn mowers, hedge trimmers and leaf blowers marching through the backyards of my neighbours. Australians rejoice in weekend suburb maintenance. Like many others I have just had very busy week of work. The builders have been …

Created
Mon, 16/09/2019 - 17:30
Messerschmidts Heads
Franz Xaver Messerschmidt’s “heads”

In the late 80’s I wrote an awful essay for my Media teacher at Camborne Tecnhical College. There was no internet to speak of back then so I relied upon the books in the limited library for research. Most of the books seemed to …

Created
Sun, 13/10/2019 - 19:30

I was to meet my son for breakfast at the stipulated time. It was part of yesterdays ultimatum or perhaps pen-ultimatum. He was still in bed when I arrived to pick hm up. He had seemingly forgotten the acid words he had thrown my way the day before. We went …