coalition

The Coalition’s junior member, the National party, have come out today demanding that the Albanese Government bring back leaded petrol. ”What sort of weak minded individual is Albo that he has a problem with lead?” Asked the National’s chief agitator... Read More ›

The Opposition’s leading proponent of numerology, Sussan Ley, is speculated to this week be considering mounting a challenge to leader Peter Dutton, following the weekends dire polling results for the Coalition. ”We thought with the media going to town and... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has put out a statement to reassure the Nation’s female folk that he is a lover not a fighter. ”It is a tough time for women right now,” said... Read More ›

The Opposition leader (as of writing), Peter Dutton, has demanded a national apology from all Australian rape victims to his Senators. ”I understand that rape can be traumatic, Jen Morrison was good enough to drop by the party room and... Read More ›

Divisive Peter Dutton has called for the nation to come together and settle the argument once and for all by demanding that all Australian’s call them potato scallops. ”It’s time for someone to take charge and start dealing with the... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has written to the Prime Minister to ask that the next sitting of parliament be delayed, as Gina Rinehart needs her cat fed. ”The Prime Minister should do the right thing and delay parliament... Read More ›

The Australian Greens have held a sad drum circle today after their offers to Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, to join were strongly rebuffed. ”We thought that after we took Peter’s side against Albo to make sure no new houses were... Read More ›

With the impending retirement of the first Politician to hold 5 secret ministries at the same time as being the country’s PM, Scott Morrison, Australian’s are being urged to put out their secret ministries as a sign of respect for... Read More ›

The Liberal party’s deputy leader (yep, really), Sussan Ley, has defended the parties leader Peter Dutton from accusations of lying, declaring that Peter can’t be a liar as his pants are not on fire. ”The press and Mr Albanese like... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the stress of the bonk ban on his most recent drunken Wednesday night antics, which involved him falling off a planter box and swearing loudly into his... Read More ›