Albo

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has ordered the press to report on his latest energy idea of making sure the country is fueled entirely by hate. ”I was sitting at home one night slowly strangling a puppy when... Read More ›

A nation-wide shortage of white pillow cases has caused the ‘No campaign’ to cancel their upcoming rallies, a move which has inconvenienced 10’s of people. ”Really disappointed to have to cancel the rallies, a lot of people have put a... Read More ›

Head of the Australian arm of the Republican party, Peter Dutton, has told reporters to start calling him Donald Dutton or The Donald for short. ”This is a great move by Peter, sorry, Donald Dutton,” said Republican party cheer leader... Read More ›

Opposition leader Peter Dutton, buoyed by the boost in polls he has received after spending weeks trashing the Voice, has told colleagues that he will look to win the next election with his signature policy, a return of the white... Read More ›

The Canberra press pack has worked themselves into a lather today after Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was unable to say how much a gram of coke was on the FM radio show Wazza and the Spanker. ”It just goes to... Read More ›

The Opposition’s minister for various affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told friends how he inadvertently watched a Pornhub soccer shower scene on the weekend believing it to be Channel 7’s coverage of the Matildas v France World cup game. ”It’s easy... Read More ›

The federal Opposition has condemned the Government over their decision to implement 60 day prescriptions, a move which will drop the price of medication, helping pensioners, but affecting chemists. ”Where does Anthony Albanese get off,” fumed Opposition leader Peter Dutton.... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has defended the fact that he has never attended the Garma festival, telling colleagues that he has arrested plenty of indigenous people in his time. ”A lot is being made that Pete has never... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has told reporters that he already has plans this weekend to wash his hair, so will be unable to make it to the Garma festival, after being invited by the Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.... Read More ›

Under fire former Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, has called current Opposition leader Peter Dutton to tell him of his plan of how they can win back Government with the signature policy, Robodebt 2 electric boogaloo. ”Scotty is very excited about... Read More ›