Albo

Opposition leader Peter Dutton, buoyed by the boost in polls he has received after spending weeks trashing the Voice, has told colleagues that he will look to win the next election with his signature policy, a return of the white... Read More ›

The Canberra press pack has worked themselves into a lather today after Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was unable to say how much a gram of coke was on the FM radio show Wazza and the Spanker. ”It just goes to... Read More ›

The Opposition’s minister for various affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told friends how he inadvertently watched a Pornhub soccer shower scene on the weekend believing it to be Channel 7’s coverage of the Matildas v France World cup game. ”It’s easy... Read More ›

The federal Opposition has condemned the Government over their decision to implement 60 day prescriptions, a move which will drop the price of medication, helping pensioners, but affecting chemists. ”Where does Anthony Albanese get off,” fumed Opposition leader Peter Dutton.... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has defended the fact that he has never attended the Garma festival, telling colleagues that he has arrested plenty of indigenous people in his time. ”A lot is being made that Pete has never... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has told reporters that he already has plans this weekend to wash his hair, so will be unable to make it to the Garma festival, after being invited by the Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.... Read More ›

Under fire former Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, has called current Opposition leader Peter Dutton to tell him of his plan of how they can win back Government with the signature policy, Robodebt 2 electric boogaloo. ”Scotty is very excited about... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has followed his predecessors lead and buggered off overseas to avoid questioning over dodgy contract processes he was involved in as head of home affairs whilst in Government. ”Peter Dutton does take stock in... Read More ›

Beleaguered Opposition leader Peter Dutton has defended his time in office as head of home affairs, including his controversial decision to hire death eaters to guard Manus Island. ”My record as head of home affairs was beyond reproach,” cried the... Read More ›

Former Australian Prime Minister (yep, really) Tony Abbott has called upon Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to do the right thing, in light of Australia retaining the Ashes via a draw, and knight the English cricket team. ”I know a win... Read More ›