Insiders

The Coalition have announced today a new policy whereby every Australian will be made to pay a levy, which will cover them in case they offend former Senator Linda Reynolds in anyway in the future. ”A Coalition Government wants to... Read More ›

Australia’s kebab shops have reported a record breaking day of trade last Sunday, following the million moron anti-immigration marches that were held around the country. ”Mate, what a day, we have sold more kebabs today then we have in the... Read More ›

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has told their viewers, all 6 of them, that the weekends’s race fuelled rallies were proof that the Governor-General needed to step in and dissolve parliament. ”When we have ten’s of ten’s of people... Read More ›

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has called for a two state solution to solve the problem of those who didn’t vote for the Albanese Government. ”This so-called Government does not have a mandate to speak for me,” said failed... Read More ›

Australia’s deputy Prime Minister, Richard Marles (yep, him), has pulled off a successful trip to the United States after managing to negotiate a tariff exemption for Australian made couches, with US Vice President, JD Vance. ”JD loved the Australian made... Read More ›

Shadow treasurer, Ted O’Brien, has told reporters that going forward he would like to be referred to by his new nickname, TeOb. He has also asked reporters to start describing him as a bit of a daggy Dad. ”Now that... Read More ›

Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›

Sky News Australia host, Sharri Markson, has blamed antisemitism for her show’s appallingly low ratings record. ”The Australian people are clearly antisemitic, I mean why else would they not be watching my show?” Asked the host. ”Every night I deliver... Read More ›

Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, was shocked to learn that his appearance on Sharri Markson’s Sky News show was only watched by 10’s of people. The Israeli PM is blaming the low ratings on Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. ”It’s... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader and practicing numerologist, Sussan Ley, has held a press conference to condemn the PM’s decision to say good morning, claiming the statement was offensive to both the afternoon and evening. ”Mr Albanese needs to stop seeking to... Read More ›