Insiders

Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and... Read More ›

The Queensland Liberal/National Party (LNP) have today announced plans to desex the cast of popular TV show Bluey, should they win the upcoming election. ”I’m sure the people of Queensland will agree that it is time to take back the... Read More ›

Coat hanger producers are talking up the prospect of a sales boom in the Australian state of Queensland, should the LNP party form Government following the upcoming election. ”It really is the golden age of coathangers,” said coat hanger manufacturer... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a revamp of the Australian Maths syllabus to ensure that more emphasis is put on division. ”It is totally unacceptable that the average Australian kid leaves school knowing how to add and multiply but... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair... Read More ›

Australia’s de facto Prime Minister, according to the ABC and News Corp, Peter Dutton, has today issued an edict that when he becomes official PM he will anoint low-rating Sky News Australia host, Peta Credlin, Governor General of Australia. ”Peta... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off verbally abusing an ABC reporter after they dared ask him a question, has demanded that all ABC staff hand over their lunch money to their peers (sic) at Sky News Australia. ”These ABC journalists... Read More ›

Greens poster boy, Max Chandler-Mather, has apologised to his colleagues after missing a party meeting due to being distracted by a mirror. ”The Albanese Government needs to stop doing whatever they are doing and focus on the big issues, like... Read More ›

Greens Leader (for now), Adam Bandt, has been seen walking around parliament house with a spring in his step after learning that Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, had accepted his offer of coming over for dinner and a drum circle. ”I... Read More ›

News Corp Australia has launched it’s new initiative, operation polish a turd, with a series of flattering articles in their weekend papers praising the performance of Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”For some reason Rupert and his billionaire mates think Pete’s... Read More ›