Peter Dutton

Australian Opposition leader, Peter ”Disappearing” Dutton, has sent out an angry missive to journalists reminding them that he does not work weekends. ”Yeah the bloody journo’s need to learn that Pete doesn’t do weekends, or questions,” said a Liberal Party... Read More ›

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has spent the day seething after learning that Cumberland city council had stolen his idea to start banning LGBTQIA+ based books in the local library. ”Peter is not a happy man at the... Read More ›

Former Prime Minister (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been spotted setting up a card table outside his favourite date night venue, Engadine Maccas, in an effort to sell more copies of his recently released book. ”They say the early bird... Read More ›

Opposition leader and self-described friend of the worker, Peter Dutton, has declared that any Government that he leads will allow the Nation’s Tradies to be able to bully Uni students out of their lunch money. ”What sort of World do... Read More ›

Opposition leader and enthusiastic Voldemort cos-player, Peter Dutton, has sent his apologies to the organisers of last weekends women’s marches, telling them that he was busy washing his hair. ”I know it may appear that I do not have any... Read More ›

The Opposition leader (as of writing), Peter Dutton, has demanded a national apology from all Australian rape victims to his Senators. ”I understand that rape can be traumatic, Jen Morrison was good enough to drop by the party room and... Read More ›

Woolworths CEO Brad Banducci has admitted that the supermarket chain is now just plain fucking with the Australian public as he unveiled the store’s new range of commemorative turkish delight tins in time for Anzac Day. “Stuff everyone, I’ve only... Read More ›

Divisive Peter Dutton has called for the nation to come together and settle the argument once and for all by demanding that all Australian’s call them potato scallops. ”It’s time for someone to take charge and start dealing with the... Read More ›

On the penultimate day of polling before Saturday’s election, a Liberal candidate, whom we cannot name or show due to the risk of being censored by the Tasmanian electoral commission, has answered Peter who? When asked where the Federal Opposition... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader (yep,really), Peter Dutton, is tipped to announce this week that fictional character Homer Simpson will be his new nuclear advisor in the run up to the next election. ”Homer Simpson brings a lot to the table,” said... Read More ›