Prime Minister, until Bill Shorten finds his knife collection, Anthony Albanese, has told colleagues that he’s a $1.20 chance of fixing up this gambling thing that everyone seems so bothered about. ”Albo is confident, you know the Rabbitoh’s haven’t had... Read More ›
Peter Dutton
Opposition leader and part-time member for Dixon, Peter Dutton, has made an emergency dash to Paris after mining magnate, Gina Rinehart, complained that her shoes need cleaning. ”Gina is such an important person and I pledge that any Government I... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has sent a letter to organisers of the Garma festival that he will not be attending this year as he needs to stay at home and wash his hair. ”As Opposition leader you are kept very... Read More ›
The Coalition has announced today that they will soon be releasing their policies for the next election with regards to women. They explained that the minute that Linda Reynolds’ law suit against rape victim Brittany Higgins concludes then they will... Read More ›
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has asked his leader, Peter Dutton, to pick him up a bottle of Tia Maria from customs when he returns from his latest overseas jaunt. ”Pete loves a little... Read More ›
The Opposition’s spokesperson for numerology and using tax payers cash in order to purchase investment properties, Sussan Ley, has denied that it is weird that she added an extra S to her first name. ”Numerology has added so much more... Read More ›
Newly married billionaire, Rupert Murdoch, has told acquaintances that he is regretting talking to fellow billionaire parent, Gina Rinehart, about what to do with his kids. ”Bloody Gina, told me not to talk to my kids but rather take ’em... Read More ›
The Coalition has today announced that West Australian Senator, Linda Karen Reynolds, has been appointed shadow minister for suing women. In a move designed to shore up the Coalitions standing with the female voter. ”Linda is perfectly suited to this... Read More ›
Unpopular Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has held a press conference today where he warned the Nation’s journalists to stop asking him questions over his nuclear plans, or he would punch them directly in the throat. ”Where do these journalists... Read More ›
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has returned from his little holiday jaunt to America renewed, refreshed and ready to make Australia hate again. ”Such a great trip, I mean the things I saw and the people I met, just great times,”... Read More ›