Woolworths CEO Brad Banducci has admitted that the supermarket chain is now just plain fucking with the Australian public as he unveiled the store’s new range of commemorative turkish delight tins in time for Anzac Day. “Stuff everyone, I’ve only... Read More ›
Australia day
Australia’s former PM (yep, really), Scott Morrison, has been quietly boasting to all who’ll listen how he has secretly appointed himself 2024’s Australian of the year. ”Scott, err, sorry ScoMo, is genuinely chuffed that he thought of this little scheme,”... Read More ›
The Opposition’s perpetually outraged leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a nation wide boycott of stationery supplier Officeworks after discovering that they did not stock Mr Potato Head branded pencil cases. ”This is an outrageous attack on ordinary, everyday working Australians,”... Read More ›
The Missing In Action (MIA) Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has been found hiding in Woolworths Nerang, dressed as a cash register, in some sort of attempt to camouflage himself in order to sneak behind enemy lines. ”I’ve been doing a... Read More ›
Weary Australian’s embarking on their first week back in the office have begun to wonder what culture war Opposition leader Peter Dutton is fighting this week, as they are bombarded with his face on tv, radio and in print. ”It’s... Read More ›
Mark Latham has led a call for Valentine’s Day to be moved to the dead of winter saying the current summery date makes it a day of mourning for Australia’s fuglies. “Valentine’s Day is not a day of celebration for... Read More ›
Music fans throughout the colony of New South Wales have gone into an absolute snit of complaint after the catchy ballad Bound For Botany Bay took out first place in the Triple J Hottest 100 for 1788 “I’ve never heard... Read More ›
Low rating TV host Andrew Bolt has boasted of the turn out for his Australia Day BBQ, after all 6 of his viewers turned up. ”It was a great day full of vigorous discussion, a little merlot and a lot... Read More ›
The man who walked out on Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s apology to the stolen generation, Peter Dutton, has demanded that all Australians celebrate Australia Day with gusto, or else. ”I, and my good friends at News Corp have decided that... Read More ›