Sussan Ley

The last federal election’s biggest losers, the Coalition, have chucked a massive tanty after being told by the Prime Minister that them losing seats results in losing staff. ”It’s a bloody outrage and I won’t stand for it,” ranted the... Read More ›

The Liberal party’s next leader (spill pending), Angus Taylor, has defended the party’s new slogan of ‘no girls allowed’. ”Look, our party isn’t stuck in the 50’s we just believe that women have a place,” said Angus. ”And that place... Read More ›

The last election wasn’t the result we were all hoping for, let’s be honest. I’m still stunned that someone as likeable, masculine and, uh, dare I say it, virile as Peter Dutton failed to win over the electorate. Never mind,... Read More ›

Following Opposition leader Sussan Ley’s speech at the National Press Club this week, where she pledged to do all she could to get more women into the Coalition, the shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to get... Read More ›

ABC management have held an all-staff meeting today to remind staff that the Coalition didn’t in fact win the last two elections and thus the Anthony Albanese led Labor party is in Government. ”We thought that the Coalition were the... Read More ›

Angertainment channel, Sky News Australia, has urged the Coalition to ignore the results of the last election and instead listen to the stations viewers, all 6 of them, and ditch the plan to heads towards net zero. ”The Coalition needs... Read More ›

Barnaby Joyce, a man whose greatest parliamentary achievement is being the reason for the bonk ban, is filthy with his colleagues after he was passed over for the shadow ministry of home affairs. ”I mean who in the so-called Coalition... Read More ›

Australia’s latest favourite laughingstock, the National party, have updated their relationship status to ”it’s complicated” after their on again, off again relationship with the Liberal party appears to be maybe on again. ”Look, it’s complicated, we do still love the... Read More ›

National party leader (for now), David Littleproud, has told journalists that his party won’t be rejoining the Coalition until lead petrol is flowing freely in the bowsers of petrol stations around the country. ”Australian’s are sick to death of not... Read More ›

Australia’s leading numerologist and as it stands interim leader of the Liberal party, Sussan Ley, has thrown her hat into the ring to become full-time leader by telling colleagues that she will make the party great again by adding an... Read More ›