Sussan Ley

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has called upon their viewers, all six of them, to get out and protest the sacking of Jacinta Nampijinpa Price from Sussan Ley’s cabinet. ”Jacinta is the future of the Liberal party,” declared Sky... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for Home Affairs, Andrew Hastie, has taken some time out of his day, which was definitely not spent on the phone talking numbers, to tell the press that he is ambitious for his leader Sussan Ley.... Read More ›

Shadow treasurer, Ted O’Brien, has told reporters that going forward he would like to be referred to by his new nickname, TeOb. He has also asked reporters to start describing him as a bit of a daggy Dad. ”Now that... Read More ›

Shadow Treasurer (for now), Ted O’Brien, has arrived to work late today due to managing to get his tie caught in his briefcase, this is the third time this month that this has happened. ”They’re tricky things ties aren’t they?”... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader and practicing numerologist, Sussan Ley, has held a press conference to condemn the PM’s decision to say good morning, claiming the statement was offensive to both the afternoon and evening. ”Mr Albanese needs to stop seeking to... Read More ›

Australian election result denialists, Sky News, have spent the day ranting and raving over how the Coalition needs to move further to the right, following the release of the first post-election news poll which has the Coalition doing worse than... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told colleagues that he will defy the Coalition and seek to introduce a private member’s bill that will repeal the net zero bonk ban. ”Australians have had a gutful of... Read More ›

The last federal election’s biggest losers, the Coalition, have chucked a massive tanty after being told by the Prime Minister that them losing seats results in losing staff. ”It’s a bloody outrage and I won’t stand for it,” ranted the... Read More ›

The Liberal party’s next leader (spill pending), Angus Taylor, has defended the party’s new slogan of ‘no girls allowed’. ”Look, our party isn’t stuck in the 50’s we just believe that women have a place,” said Angus. ”And that place... Read More ›

The last election wasn’t the result we were all hoping for, let’s be honest. I’m still stunned that someone as likeable, masculine and, uh, dare I say it, virile as Peter Dutton failed to win over the electorate. Never mind,... Read More ›