Sussan Ley

The Liberal party has put word out that should their leader Peter Dutton lose the upcoming Fadden by-election, then they will replace him with a pot plant. ”Dutts knows that he needs to pull something out of the bag,” said... Read More ›

The Opposition’s resident numerology expert, Sussan Ley, has spent the weekend considering whether to challenge unpopular Opposition leader Peter Dutton following last week’s horrific Robodebt findings. “Susssan has been ringing around checking with her numerologist, astrologist and even her kinesiologist... Read More ›

The Dark Lord Peter Dutton’s Coalition has today launched their plan to keep the Australian budget in the black, by suing their way to prosperity. ”Australians don’t need to be afraid of any Government that I lead,” said the Dark... Read More ›

Low polling Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton was shocked to learn over the weekend that politics is in fact a popularity contest. ”Peter thought the object of the game was to appeal to Sky News after dark, he... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow treasurer (yep, really) Angus Taylor has been asking his colleagues if he can borrow their fingers and toes to help him work on his numbers in the event of a #LibSpill. ”Yeah, numbers aren’t really Angus’ thing... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s number two (for now) Sussan Ley has condemned Labor for delivering a budget surplus instead of a budget ssurplus. ”Mr Albanese needs to have a good hard look at himself and apologise to the Australian people,” said Susssan... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s number two, Sussan Ley, has called on the Albanese Government to allow a third option for the upcoming Voice referendum so voter’s can vote yess. ”Why should the Australian public be forced to choose between yes and no... Read More ›

The Coalition’s lead spokesperson for numerology Susssan Ley has refused to rule out launching a challenge for Peter Dutton’s faltering leadership via a leadership sspill. ”At this stage I have no comment on whether I will challenge Peter to a... Read More ›

With news over night of another round of dreadful polling numbers for Opposition leader Peter Dutton there is talk amongst the Liberals of a potential leadership spill. Some challengers have been working the phones to shore up numbers, whilst deputy... Read More ›

The Coalition has demanded that the Albanese Government immediately change the law to allow those under the age of 40 to be able to sell their kidneys in order to get into the housing market. ”What sort of society does... Read More ›