Dutton

The Opposition’s minister for various affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told friends how he inadvertently watched a Pornhub soccer shower scene on the weekend believing it to be Channel 7’s coverage of the Matildas v France World cup game. ”It’s easy... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has called upon the Albanese Government to appoint former Minister for everything, everywhere, all at once, Scott Morrison, as Governor of the Reserve Bank. ”I don’t want to see some qualified public servant or... Read More ›

The Liberal party has put word out that should their leader Peter Dutton lose the upcoming Fadden by-election, then they will replace him with a pot plant. ”Dutts knows that he needs to pull something out of the bag,” said... Read More ›

Irrelevant Senator Pauline Hanson has promised the World that she will mail her essay against an Indigenous Voice to parliament to every Australian, just as soon as she gets a new pack of crayons. ”The people of Australia will have... Read More ›

Former PM (yep, he was) Scott Morrison, has put out the feelers to the Richmond football club to see if they have any interest in having him replace Damian Hardwick as Coach. ”I do love my Sharkies, up, up Cronulla... Read More ›

Opposition leader, the Dark Lord Peter Dutton, has tasked the Coalition’s most accomplished spread sheeter, Shooter McKenzie, to draft one up listing the best Labor held seats that they can place a nuclear reactor in should they win the next... Read More ›

The Coalition’s lead spokesperson for numerology Susssan Ley has refused to rule out launching a challenge for Peter Dutton’s faltering leadership via a leadership sspill. ”At this stage I have no comment on whether I will challenge Peter to a... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now) Peter Dutton has condemned Victorian Premier Dan Andrews over traffic in Melbourne, after his candidate for the upcoming Aston bi-election spent 40 minutes driving from their home in Fitzroy to the electorate. ”What planet does comrade... Read More ›

NSW Premier (for now) Dominic Perrotet has told voters to make sure they bring cash when voting in tomorrow’s election as there will be toll booths operating at all voting booths in Western Sydney. ”We didn’t have enough time to... Read More ›

With the NSW election on Saturday worried NSW Liberal party members have filed a missing persons report after federal opposition leader Peter Dutton has not been seen in the State since the election was called. ”Albo’s been everywhere with Minns,... Read More ›