Skittles: “Taste the Rainbow”
Red, orange, yellow, and so forth. Finally, a candy fit for the whole spectrum. With this deliciously bold tagline, Skittles promises a sensory adventure of unparalleled dimension. Time to sweeten things up, stretch your palate, and lick the sky. All of this quite plainly has nothing to do with oral sex.
Nike: “Just Do It”
Admittedly, I am not a sportsman. But I am friends with a few athletes, and I know their penchant for victory. How brilliant, then, that Nike should fly this winning banner. (Obviously, “do” is intended in a platonic sense. Nike is suggesting you do something not someone.)
Gatorade: “Is It in You?”
Frankly, I blame the schools. Filth, filth, and more filth—that’s what’s being force-fed to today’s youth. This tagline concerns the supreme pleasure of hydration, nothing more. And really, what could be better? What could be more satisfying than finishing off a sweaty act of physical exertion with a big, hearty swallow?