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On November 17, 1982, fifteen masked women walked, in groups of twos and threes, into the Holy Cross Church in London’s King’s Cross just as the evening service was coming to an end. Clutching sleeping bags, blankets and, in some cases, their young children, they nestled into pews at the back, settling in for what […]

Early in President Trump’s first term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning number of misdeeds coming from his administration. We called this list a collection of Trump’s cruelties, collusions, corruptions, and crimes, and it felt urgent to track them, to ensure these horrors—happening almost daily—would not be forgotten. Now that Trump has returned to office, amid civil rights, humanitarian, economic, and constitutional crises, we felt it critical to make an inventory of this new round of horrors. This list will be updated monthly between now and the end of Donald Trump’s second term.

You probably don’t hear “The River of Dreams” much anymore. It’s never on the radio, and no one is streaming that song of their own free will. But here in my dental practice, I hear “The River of Dreams” at least fifteen times a day. Once per appointment, in fact.

Honestly, it’s out of my hands. Billy Joel and the American Dental Association reached a binding agreement sometime in the mid-2000s. Dentists across America are required by law to pump out “The River of Dreams” so that every patient hears it when they’re in the office. In exchange, we get, well, I don’t know what. But four out of five of us agree “The River of Dreams” is a banger. We’re legally obligated to say that.

A year into his leadership of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn made time to travel to the state of Tabasco, in the south of Mexico, to visit his friend and fellow left-winger, Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO). It must have been nice to spend time with a successful progressive politician who seemed on the cusp […]

For fifteen years or so, I’d been kicking around the idea of resurrecting the artist-apprentice model that reigned in the art world for hundreds of years.

Again and again, I’d heard from young people who lamented the astronomical and ever-rising cost of art school. For many college-level art programs, the total cost to undergraduates is now over $100,000 a year. I hope we can all agree that charging students $400,000 for a four-year degree in visual art is objectively absurd. And this prohibitive cost has priced tens of thousands of potential students out of even considering undertaking such an education.

For years, I mentioned this issue to friends in and out of the art world, and everyone, without exception, agreed that the system was broken. Even friends I know who teach at art schools agreed that the cost was out of control, and these spiraling costs were contributing to the implosion of many undergraduate and postgraduate art programs.

Anytime you arrive at an event dressed similarly to another guest, things can feel a bit awkward. But the Vatican is notoriously secretive. You had no way of knowing what kind of huge hat the pope would be wearing tonight. Nevertheless, you’re in this mess, here’s what to do:

Try Not to Draw Attention to the Hat
Many times, we think everyone is looking at us, noticing every flaw we have and every piece of clothing we’re wearing. But, in reality, everyone else is busy with their own life, obsessing over their own clothes and flaws. How many people were wearing a Yankees cap on the subway this morning? What about something weirder, like a Mets hat? See? You have no idea. If you act natural and don’t mention it, it’s highly unlikely other guests will even notice two people are wearing enormous pope hats.

Thanks for reaching out.

Yes, I’m interested in your one-week project, which you’ve described as a “sprint”—a fun euphemism for seven days of sheer panic.

When do you need me?

Darn, I’ll actually be on a cruise with my family that week, but I suppose I could find a quiet corner near the soft-serve machine to crack open my laptop.

What’s my day rate, you ask?

It’s steep—but commensurate with my over fifteen years of experience in a highly specialized field.

You don’t have the budget for that?

I see.

Well, in the interest of working together in the future, I will, as a courtesy, cut my rate in half this one time, knowing we’ll likely never work together again.

But it’s still worth it because, as a freelancer, I get to work remotely.

And by “work remotely,” I mean that I will graze the vast breakfast buffet until lunch and take an obnoxiously long and slightly rocky shower before opening a single work-related email.

What’s that?

You need me to come into the office for this project?

Next week, the University and College Union (UCU) will ballot more than 65,000 university workers, asking them to back strike action in a fight for fair pay, better working conditions, and to protect jobs. The vice-chancellors who ‘lead’ our universities have quietly increased their own salaries by £40,000 over the past three years, leaving them […]

The 2025 Green Party conference was a potent mix of optimism and the mild chaos of an event which wildly exceeded its organisers’ expectations. The word on every staff member’s lips was ‘surprise’. Surprise at the over 2,000 members who descended on the venue; surprise at the unprecedented number of journalists applying for passes (even […]

Sorry, new kid, we’re already sitting here. Hang on, are you Christopher Columbus? I’m India. People keep saying you can’t stop talking about me. They say you’ve been, like, looking for me? Weird.

Wait, I heard you found a whole other country and thought it was me. Is that true? That’s so embarrassing. Why are you obsessed with me?

Is that a map you drew of me? OMG, I do not look like that. Why’d you draw me so small and Italy so big? I’m literally ten times bigger. Is this your way of trying to make yourself relevant? That’s honestly so insecure of you.

No, like, someone told me you wrote a whole letter to the king and queen of Spain saying you “discovered” me?! That’s so sad. We’ve all been here, and you literally just got here. Wait, you seriously didn’t know about the Americas?

Bangladesh, stop laughing! Seriously, you’re being mean.

Sorry, those are my other Asian friends. We’re really caffeinated right now. We drink a lot of tea. And we spill it, lolz. So like, why do you keep talking about me? You want my spices? Turmeric and chili peppers? No offense, but you don’t look like you can handle those.