“Gasoline prices in the United States rose on Tuesday to their highest level in four years as peace talks between the United States and Iran appeared at an impasse.” – New York Times
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Here at the Department of Energy, we want to reassure Americans that, while the war we’ve already won shows no signs of ending and oil prices remain over $100 a barrel, we are taking decisive action to ensure that, under no circumstances, Americans will ever need to drive a fuel-efficient vehicle.
We’ve heard your complaints about the high price of gasoline. Don’t worry. We’re prepared. We’ve been hoarding oil in underground salt caverns for exactly this kind of unpredictable situation: where we flagrantly start a war with the world’s fifth-largest oil producer that controls access to 20 percent of global supply, which disrupts global supplies.
In fact, we’ve already begun releasing oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, which we’ve been kind of obsessed with maintaining since the 1970s energy crisis, which also coincidentally had to do with Iran.