Well, they say you should never trust a politician, and it seems I’ve been duped.
As an avid reader of the New York Post, the New York Post’s X feed, and transcripts of several-minute-long voice memos from my relatives who have never lived in New York and will never live in New York, I was promised one thing from a Zohran Mamdani mayoralty: chaos.
Campus chaos. Anti-ICE chaos. Chaos in our parks, sidewalks, and public spaces.
And as an anarcho-communist-accelerationist-antifascist-nihilist-transplant-gentrifier-crisis actor living in a rent-controlled penthouse bodega paid for by some combination of my mommy and George Soros, that’s exactly why I wanted Zohran to win.



