Men, guys, dudes, rejoice! After much research and testing, we have found the cure to the cursed male loneliness epidemic that is sweeping our country and our op-ed sections. We know you feel isolated. We know you can’t talk about your emotions. We know you’re looking for male role models in all the wrong YouTube algorithms. But fear not. We have found the solution to all your problems: doing outlandish science projects to prove or disprove commonplace myths.
Men these days are reverting to masculine ideals from yesteryear. They think real men have to be strong, tough, and misogynistic. Listen, boys, you don’t need big muscles, you don’t need creatine powder, and you certainly don’t need to get surgery to gain an extra few inches of height because you’d rather have metal implants in your legs than be 5′4″. All you really need is a curious mind, a pure heart, and military-level access to high-powered explosives. And also a seemingly endless supply of crash-test dummies.
