Other than lawsuits, losing track of a child is every school district’s worst nightmare. We haven’t lost anyone yet, but an EdTech company has painted a compelling picture of this as a possible future problem that can be pre-solved with EdTech. Therefore, we’re pleased to introduce some cutting-edge yet profoundly user-unfriendly technology.
You’ve already been given an app for reluctantly volunteering to run the book fair, an app for viewing your kid’s hastily prepared report cards, and an app for lodging complaints about our apps. Effective immediately, we’ll also be tracking your child’s whereabouts on three additional apps.
First, if your child is going to be absent, log into your PITA, which does not stand for “Pain in the Ass” but for “Parents Informing Technology of Absences.” If you forget your login, call our wonderful school secretary, Marjorie. No, you can’t just call the office to tell Marjorie your kid is sick; you’ll need to call the office to retrieve your PITA login information, then log in to PITA to tell PITA your kid is sick.