Attention, bank employees and patrons! This is a robbery. Remain calm, lie down on the ground, and check in with yourselves. Do you have the emotional capacity for us to rob you right now?
Don’t look my partner in the eye. Don’t look at him! He’s super socially anxious. He just takes a little time to open up. Once you get to know him, though? He has the heart of a poet.
NO TALKING. Let’s all embrace this opportunity for silence with a deep inhale. That’s it. Now, with your next exhale, place your wallets and valuables into this NPR tote bag. Many of you may be feeling discomfort. That’s totally okay! Discomfort is a gift. It’s the body’s way of telling you there is more for you to learn.
Ma’am, please stop struggling while I’m binding your hands. I can’t let you go free, but I can offer you your choice of rope. Do you like cotton or twine?