If you think a piece is 100 percent done, it’s actually 45 percent done. To get it to 100 percent done, you can’t.
If you think you need “just a few more hours,” you really need a few more months.
“I’ll send it by EOD”—no, the odds are 6-1 you won’t. 7-1. 17-1.
“EOD” equals 5 p.m., 6 p.m., and 11:59 p.m., as well as 2 a.m., 8 a.m., 10 a.m., and 11 a.m. the next day.
Each breakthrough equals ninety days of clinical depression. (But you can’t pay upfront; if you commit to ninety days of clinical depression, then you may or may not get one breakthrough.)
Tragedy plus time equals a best-selling funny personal essay collection.
“Best-selling” equals selling better than however much you thought it would sell (0).
If something is due Friday, it might as well be due Monday, which might as well be due Tuesday, which might as well be due Wednesday, which might as well be due Thursday, which might as well be due Friday. This is why God (She/Her) gave us seven days.