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Created
Sat, 10/01/2026 - 00:00

How do I live longer?
Stress is a leading cause of early death. Avoid stress by spending every single day thinking about what you need to do to not die. If that doesn’t work, try meditation. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and remember that each second of meditation is a battle in the war on Father Time. Good luck, soldier.

How important is sleep?
Nothing is more important than a good night’s sleep. So-called “friends” will invite you out for long nights of drinks, dancing, and “companionship.” Recognize this danger and return to your cryochamber.

So what’s a good sleep schedule?
Wake up at 4:30 a.m., no exceptions. The smug satisfaction of telling everyone you wake up at 4:30 a.m. will power you for at least one hundred years.

What’s your best biohacking tip?
Research shows nasal breathing is healthier than mouth breathing. Duct tape your mouth shut and only breathe through your nose. When someone asks if you’re being held hostage, blink twice to let them know you heard about this on a podcast.

Created
Fri, 09/01/2026 - 20:02

I remember my disappointment boarding a Greyhound bus for the first time in the mid-eighties. I had inherited a vague mythology of epic journeys and vistas, artists escaping small-town America — Warhol, Dylan — and a very English, self-deprecating assumption that a Greyhound had to be bigger, shinier, and swifter than a National Express coach. […]

Created
Fri, 09/01/2026 - 09:00

“Federal and local officials dispute the circumstances that led an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer to fatally shoot a 37-year-old woman in Minneapolis on Wednesday.” — NPR

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You think you’re watching a woman being shot in the face by an ICE agent, but what you’re really watching is a woman trying to run an ICE agent over and the agent firing at her in self-defense.

You think you’re watching an ICE agent walk up to a woman’s car asking her to leave, which she does, but what you’re really watching is a woman turn her car around and try to run the agent over.

You think you’re watching a woman drive away with an ICE agent following, then shooting her four times in the face, but what you’re really watching is an ICE agent in fear of his life and acting in self-defense.