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Created
Thu, 30/04/2026 - 09:00

“Gasoline prices in the United States rose on Tuesday to their highest level in four years as peace talks between the United States and Iran appeared at an impasse.” – New York Times

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Here at the Department of Energy, we want to reassure Americans that, while the war we’ve already won shows no signs of ending and oil prices remain over $100 a barrel, we are taking decisive action to ensure that, under no circumstances, Americans will ever need to drive a fuel-efficient vehicle.

We’ve heard your complaints about the high price of gasoline. Don’t worry. We’re prepared. We’ve been hoarding oil in underground salt caverns for exactly this kind of unpredictable situation: where we flagrantly start a war with the world’s fifth-largest oil producer that controls access to 20 percent of global supply, which disrupts global supplies.

In fact, we’ve already begun releasing oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, which we’ve been kind of obsessed with maintaining since the 1970s energy crisis, which also coincidentally had to do with Iran.

Created
Thu, 30/04/2026 - 02:52

“After canceled gigs in the U.K., France, Switzerland, and Poland, Kanye West’s upcoming concert in Italy is sparking an uproar due to the rapper’s antisemitic remarks.” — Variety

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Like everyone else who enjoys robot kazoo music, I was shocked to learn the truth about my favorite artist, Vorgarg. I had always assumed he was a fun-loving robot who knew his way around a kazoo, not a ruthless killing machine hell-bent on the destruction of humankind. I read his manifesto vowing to extinguish all human life, and I’ll be honest, it was disturbing. It is hard to reconcile the image of one of the top-ten kazoo-playing robots of all time with one who could write such vile things.

But when Vorgarg announced his upcoming tour, I knew I had to go.

Created
Wed, 29/04/2026 - 22:00

With apologies to Rumi.

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May this decree be signed expeditiously
and this divorce be soon over.

May it be amicable.
But not too amicable.
I refuse to vacation together.
Who do we think we are,
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin?

May this divorce be like oil and water,
separated indefinitely. In fact, let us be
parallel lines. You go your way, I’ll go mine,
never touching again. Ever.

May this conscious uncoupling be full of freedom:
from the nightly whistle of your CPAP machine
and from your mother’s Christmas
raisin bread pudding.

Created
Wed, 29/04/2026 - 21:41
If this crucial circulation system shuts down, the civilisational impacts will be irreversible. So why isn’t it a top priority? By George Monbiot, published in the Guardian 23rd April 2026 The poor and middle pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the very rich pay lawyers – and the ultra-rich pay politicians. It’s not an original […]