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After months sequestered in the Pagoda of Masculinity, which is beneath my parents’ house but is fair to consider my basement, I have emerged a new man. Through my relentless commitment to living the ascetic lifestyle of a monk who is allowed to play video games, I, the Angulord, have at long last fully maxximized my looks.

There is no length I have not gone to for the sake of cultivating my flawless aesthetic. I have smashed my jaw with a hammer to increase its definition. I have injected testosterone to enhance the capacity of my muscles. My abs are as firm as freshly quarried gravel thanks to peptides (which I take subcutaneously) and riptides (which I allow to carry me out to sea during thunderstorms, forcing me to swim ashore or die). So far, I’ve only been declared legally dead twice, and just for five or six minutes each time. My doctor says that the oxygen deficit has left me with the cognitive capacity of a police horse on the verge of retirement. I told him to suck my sharp dick.

We have a lot to learn about adaptability from a bird who evolved to swim

The post Why Penguins Don’t Fly appeared first on Nautilus.

Following Nicholas Kristof’s report on sexual abuse inside Israeli prisons including the use of dogs to rape hostages as young as 13, the NYT’s Isabel Kershner, whose sons served in the Israeli military, revived unverified October 7 rape claims relying on Israeli government-linked source Cochav Elkayam-Levy, who was later accused in Israeli media of exaggeration and misinformation.

The post As Evidence Mounts of Dogs Raping Palestinian Prisoners in Israeli Prisons, NYT’s Isabel Kershner Revives Unverified October 7 Rape Narrative appeared first on MintPress News.

Scientists keep knocking it down but it keeps roaring back

The post The Impossible Strength of the Testosterone Myth appeared first on Nautilus.

You’ve Always Been This Way is a column written by Taylor Harris, a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman and 1980s preschool dropout, who identifies every moment from her past that filled her with shame, and mutters, “Yep, that tracks. I see it all now.”

Dearest Neurobaddies of the Finest Order,

I did a thing. No, not procuring a pint of Graeter’s ice cream before 9 a.m., though who am I to discount the diminutive glory of my former days? Just because I write to you from the summit of Midlife Desire and Acquisition, doesn’t mean I’m untouchable. It just means I trusted myself and didn’t ruin everything. In fact, I kind of nailed it. Did I question myself 13,000 times first? Think of every reason I should abandon the want lighting up my heart like a 1980s Glo Worm? Yes and yes. And then I proceeded to do the thing anyway. So pull up your stretchy pants and lift ye old breasts back into the cups of your threadbare brassieres, ladies. It’s story time.

“The United States Army has officially raised its enlistment age limit to 42.” — New York Times

Arrival

Once you step off the bus, basic training has begun. Recruits carrying ergonomic rolling luggage will be immediately singled out for punishment. Next, your bags will be inspected for contraband. Any attempts to smuggle in heating pads, lumbar-support braces, or Lactaid pills will cause your drill sergeant to go ballistic. Full-fat dairy is a big part of the warrior ethos.

Red Phase
(Weeks 1-3)

The goal of the Red Phase is to begin your transformation from soft, middle-aged weakling into an unstoppable, silver-fox warrior. During these first three weeks, you’ll get a thorough introduction to the following:

And it’s here to help

The post There’s Something Living in Fog appeared first on Nautilus.

For fifteen years or so, I’d been kicking around the idea of resurrecting the artist-apprentice model that reigned in the art world for hundreds of years.

Again and again, I’d heard from young people who lamented the astronomical and ever-rising cost of art school. For many college-level art programs, the total cost to undergraduates is now over $100,000 a year. I hope we can all agree that charging students $400,000 for a four-year degree in visual art is objectively absurd. And this prohibitive cost has priced tens of thousands of potential students out of even considering undertaking such an education.

For years, I mentioned this issue to friends in and out of the art world, and everyone, without exception, agreed that the system was broken. Even friends I know who teach at art schools agreed that the cost was out of control, and these spiraling costs were contributing to the implosion of many undergraduate and postgraduate art programs.

Jenny has early onset dementia, and she’s taken a shine to Tony, a fellow care home resident. Jenny’s husband seems nonplussed

- Video by Live Theatre

Watch on Psyche

A new book examines the benefits of chatting with people we don’t know – from mood boosts to a greater sense of belonging

- by Hannah Seo

Read on Psyche

A generation of young people with ‘full hearts in an empty world’ sought hope in the face of insurmountable malaise

- by Emily Herring

Read on Aeon