My Dear Third Grader,
I am terribly sorry you got sick at school this morning. I should have believed you when you said you were not feeling well, even if this was your tenth time saying that this month alone. I should have sensed that today would be the day when you would arrive at your classroom, take three steps in, and promptly throw up the entire contents of your stomach. This one is on me.
Yes, I understand it took me thirty minutes to get to your school. I apologize. I had to wrap up a few things so I could continue to work from home. Yes, it is still a workday for me. I’m very sorry. But once we get home, we can get you comfortable so you can relax and take a nap. Don’t tell your brothers, but you can have as much screentime as you would like. No, I don’t want to hear about the contents of your vomit, but thank you. If you want to use your Switch today, that’s fine. We can get you a nice set-up so you can drink some Pedialyte and play Minecraft—wow, an entire carrot? Did you not chew your dinner at all last night?—Sorry. Yes, you can hang out in the basement with me. We’ll dim the lights so you can rest some too.