nuclear

Opposition leader and Australia’s next Prime Minister according to Sky News, Peter Dutton, has celebrated the news that he has risen in the polls by indulging in his favourite hobby of strangling puppies. ”As a politician you work hard and... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair... Read More ›

Gina Rinehart’s favorite play thing, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, has come out strongly to defend his decision to appoint the ghost of former PM, Bob Menzies, to head up the NSW Liberal party. ”The fact that Bob has been dead... Read More ›

Unpopular Australian Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has held a press conference today where he warned the Nation’s journalists to stop asking him questions over his nuclear plans, or he would punch them directly in the throat. ”Where do these journalists... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, fresh off releasing no new details of his nuclear power policy, has reacted angrily to all those against the policy (sic) saying: ”let them eat yellow cake.” ”Bloody Greenies, inner city elite and the so-called journalists... Read More ›

Niche news station, Sky News Australia, has revealed that a survey of their viewers, all 6 of them, has showed that they are all in favour of nuclear power. ”When Sky News speaks, people listen,” said a Spokesperson for the... Read More ›

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has tasked his shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor (yep, really), to set up a Go Fund Me account with the hopes of raising 140 billion in order to pay for the nuclear power plants that they plan... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has told his colleagues to not worry about the lack of detail or mistruths said at the launch of the Coalition’s nuclear policy launch, as it’s not a lie if News Corp reports it.... Read More ›

Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has gathered his cabinet colleagues together to tell them the special news that he has taken the shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, to the country to ‘live’ on a farm. The move follows Taylor’s disastrous... Read More ›

The Opposition’s leading proponent of numerology, Sussan Ley, is speculated to this week be considering mounting a challenge to leader Peter Dutton, following the weekends dire polling results for the Coalition. ”We thought with the media going to town and... Read More ›