coalition

The moderate wing of the Coalition (apparently they exist), have told anyone who’ll listen, that they may bend over and accept the party dropping net-zero but they won’t be happy. ”It’s time that our colleagues start listening to what we... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan ”SS” Ley, has demanded that the Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, release the details of what colour underwear he is wearing on a daily basis. ”The Prime Minister needs to stop being so secretive and reveal all... Read More ›

The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing. ”Look, this... Read More ›

Drunk adulterer, Barnaby Joyce, is tipped to be named as heir apparent to racist bigot Pauline Hanson as leader of the fringe band of lunatics that is One Nation. ”Pauline has done a fantastic job of building up One Nation... Read More ›

Interim Nationals leader, David Littleproud, has reached out to disgruntled backbencher, Barnaby Joyce, to offer him an olive branch in the form of an exemption from the bonk ban if he stays with the Nationals. ”We know that Barnaby was... Read More ›

Australia’s ambassador to America, Kevin Rudd, has reached out to the member for Hume, Angus Taylor, to discuss the benefits of white anting amongst other topics. ”I saw Sussan Ley on TV the other day and she had a few... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has told colleagues that she plans to arrest her falling popularity by adding an extra S to her name. ”People were very interested to hear why I am Sussan, not Susan,” said the interim leader.... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›

Leader of the National party (for now), David Littleproud, has told his Coalition partners, the Liberals, to forget about winning over the inner city elites and focus on winning over the 2,000 odd voters who live around the back O’... Read More ›

Rogue Coalition backbencher, Andrew ‘friend of Gina’ Hastie, has told his friends (Gina), that he quit Sussan Ley’s cabinet after the Liberal leader demanded that he add an extra S to his surname. ”Yeah, people think it was over the... Read More ›