coalition

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has told colleagues that she plans to arrest her falling popularity by adding an extra S to her name. ”People were very interested to hear why I am Sussan, not Susan,” said the interim leader.... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›

Leader of the National party (for now), David Littleproud, has told his Coalition partners, the Liberals, to forget about winning over the inner city elites and focus on winning over the 2,000 odd voters who live around the back O’... Read More ›

Rogue Coalition backbencher, Andrew ‘friend of Gina’ Hastie, has told his friends (Gina), that he quit Sussan Ley’s cabinet after the Liberal leader demanded that he add an extra S to his surname. ”Yeah, people think it was over the... Read More ›

Exiled Liberal, Jacinta Nampijinpa Price, has spoken up in defence of her colleague, Andrew Hastie, after he called unnamed members of the Coalition Muppets. With Senator Price saying that she would have called them worse. ”I feel that Andrew was... Read More ›

Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home. ”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to... Read More ›

Low-rating cable channel, Sky News Australia, has called upon their viewers, all six of them, to get out and protest the sacking of Jacinta Nampijinpa Price from Sussan Ley’s cabinet. ”Jacinta is the future of the Liberal party,” declared Sky... Read More ›

The Coalition have announced today a new policy whereby every Australian will be made to pay a levy, which will cover them in case they offend former Senator Linda Reynolds in anyway in the future. ”A Coalition Government wants to... Read More ›

Australia’s kebab shops have reported a record breaking day of trade last Sunday, following the million moron anti-immigration marches that were held around the country. ”Mate, what a day, we have sold more kebabs today then we have in the... Read More ›

Shadow treasurer, Ted O’Brien, has told reporters that going forward he would like to be referred to by his new nickname, TeOb. He has also asked reporters to start describing him as a bit of a daggy Dad. ”Now that... Read More ›