Albo

Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has demanded a revamp of the Australian Maths syllabus to ensure that more emphasis is put on division. ”It is totally unacceptable that the average Australian kid leaves school knowing how to add and multiply but... Read More ›

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has called on the Government to look into the issue of shrinkflation. Namely the shrinkflation he gets whilst swimming. ”Albo’s keen to get out their and tackle shrinkflation, fair... Read More ›

Australia’s de facto Prime Minister, according to the ABC and News Corp, Peter Dutton, has today issued an edict that when he becomes official PM he will anoint low-rating Sky News Australia host, Peta Credlin, Governor General of Australia. ”Peta... Read More ›

Greens poster boy, Max Chandler-Mather, has apologised to his colleagues after missing a party meeting due to being distracted by a mirror. ”The Albanese Government needs to stop doing whatever they are doing and focus on the big issues, like... Read More ›

Greens Leader (for now), Adam Bandt, has been seen walking around parliament house with a spring in his step after learning that Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, had accepted his offer of coming over for dinner and a drum circle. ”I... Read More ›

News Corp Australia has launched it’s new initiative, operation polish a turd, with a series of flattering articles in their weekend papers praising the performance of Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”For some reason Rupert and his billionaire mates think Pete’s... Read More ›

Fresh off the news of the alleged assassination attempt against felon turned Presidential nominee, Donald Trump, Sky News Australia is reporting of an assassination attempt against Coalition leader, Peter Dutton, after a man was seen nearby carrying a potato peeler.... Read More ›

Australian Opposition leader, Donald Dutton, has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese immediately get his Government to conduct an audit of the Nation’s cats and dogs to be sure that none are being eaten by immigrants. ”If it’s happening in... Read More ›

This afternoon King Charles, a dude who once told his sidepiece that he’d like to identify as a Tampon, will visit Australia. The trip will be paid for by the Australian taxpayer in what is said to be a boon... Read More ›

ACT Police have today announced that they will launch an investigation into the mysterious stab wounds that have appeared in the back of the current vice chancellor of Canberra University. The investigation was announced on the same day that former... Read More ›