auspol

The Liberal party’s on again, off again partner, the Nationals, have sent letters out to their constituents, many of whom have been ravaged by floods, asking them to give generously to the parties re-election fund. ”No one fights harder than... Read More ›

National party leader (for now), David Littleproud, has told journalists that his party won’t be rejoining the Coalition until lead petrol is flowing freely in the bowsers of petrol stations around the country. ”Australian’s are sick to death of not... Read More ›

Australia’s leading numerologist and as it stands interim leader of the Liberal party, Sussan Ley, has thrown her hat into the ring to become full-time leader by telling colleagues that she will make the party great again by adding an... Read More ›

Sky News Australia’s leading poll expert, Sharri Markson, has told her viewers, all 6 of them, that internal polls leaked to her reveal that the former member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, will be declared Pope at this week’s Conclave. ”I... Read More ›

Australia’s #auspol tragics have been left disappointed today after what they thought was a sign of a new Coalition leader, a puff of white smoke emanating from the Coalition party room turned out to just be Barnaby Joyce smashing a... Read More ›

Sussan Ley, Angus Taylor and the other bloke, Dave or Dan, have all thrown their hats in to the ring to challenge for the Liberal leadership. The vacancy arises after former leader, Peter Dutton, was comprehensively thrashed at the last... Read More ›

Low-rating news channel, Sky News Australia, have taken a break from mourning the loss of their idol, Peter Dutton, to wonder how their viewers, all 10 of them, didn’t swing the election in the Coalition’s favour. ”It baffles me, I... Read More ›

Peter Dutton’s replacement, err, shadow Treasurer, Angus Taylor, has promised the Nation that he will deliver the Coalition’s costings as soon as he finds the napkin that he wrote them on. ”People need a bit of patience, we will get... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that he assumed that Channel 7 were asking for the price of easter eggs, not everyday eggs, at last night’s leader’s debate. Mr Dutton guessed that eggs were $4, less than half... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, has put his chances of winning the upcoming election in the hands of Sky News Australia’s 10’s of viewers. With Mr Dutton refusing to take any questions from journalists other than those who appear on... Read More ›