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Former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has taken some time out from rewriting Australian history to offer some advice to beleaguered opposition leader, Sussan Ley. His advice, to consider knighting Prince Andrew. ”Everyone loves a Royal, so why not bestow upon... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has reached out to her rebellious colleague, Barnaby Joyce, to invite him over for a lovely beef wellington dinner. ”Teams squabble from time to time but what good teams do is they always settle their... Read More ›

Drunk adulterer, Barnaby Joyce, is tipped to be named as heir apparent to racist bigot Pauline Hanson as leader of the fringe band of lunatics that is One Nation. ”Pauline has done a fantastic job of building up One Nation... Read More ›

Interim Nationals leader, David Littleproud, has reached out to disgruntled backbencher, Barnaby Joyce, to offer him an olive branch in the form of an exemption from the bonk ban if he stays with the Nationals. ”We know that Barnaby was... Read More ›

Niche cable TV channel, Sky News Australia, has demanded that their viewers, all 6 of them, write to the Prime Minister and demand that US Ambassador Kevin Rudd be relieved of his duties. ”Kevin Rudd’s position is untenable,” said Sky... Read More ›

Australia’s ambassador to America, Kevin Rudd, has reached out to the member for Hume, Angus Taylor, to discuss the benefits of white anting amongst other topics. ”I saw Sussan Ley on TV the other day and she had a few... Read More ›

Interim Opposition leader, Sussan Ley, has told colleagues that she plans to arrest her falling popularity by adding an extra S to her name. ”People were very interested to hear why I am Sussan, not Susan,” said the interim leader.... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has demanded that the Albanese Government hold a parliamentary enquiry into adult star, Bonnie Blue’s 1057 men sex stunt. ”We need to get to the bottom of what this Bonnie Blue... Read More ›

Australian Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, has had his phone number leaked after thieves broke into Redeye records and stole their order book. ”I’m not happy about this,” said the PM. ”Not only is my number out in the open, but... Read More ›

Sussan Ley’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has responded to unrest in the Coalition by urging colleagues to consider an open marriage, or perhaps swinging. ”Monogamy is a thing of the past, we need to get out and... Read More ›